art Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
More Late Game Bukkake
San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bear...
NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...
We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...
Stuart Scott Will Bring Peace To The World Of Rap
One can think of no one better to mediate the feud between 50 Cent and Kanye West than Stuart Scott ... except of course Conan O'Brien, or Daulerio. Both have albums coming out on Sept. 11, and Fiddy, as the kids call him, said that he will retire if Kanye's Graduation outsells his Curtis. The two w...
Matt Leinart Will Not Kill Your Dog
We saw this on a newsstand a couple of weeks ago, but we didn't think to get an image capture of it. Thankfully, someone did, and it's proof that Matt Leinart has hit the big time: He's on the cover of Animal Fair magazine. High quality photos too!...
Dancing With The Fantasy Football Stars
The Internet, we must confess, has mostly ruined the time-tested ritual of in-person fantasy football drafts. The Cheeto-stained cheat sheets, the endless (and mostly lame) trash-talking and the guy wearing the Jake Plummer jersey (ahem) ... all that's pretty much behind us. We have friends from all...
South Carolina School System, We Salute You
This clip may be somewhat off topic, but you know what? I don't care. Because it's been gnawing at my brain now for nearly 48 hours, like a game of tetris where all you get are the long, L-shaped pieces and nothing fits, and why should I be the only one to suffer? It's from the Teen Miss USA Page...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you give up on installing Windows Vista ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Delvin "Special Needs" Rodriguez vs. Chris "Incubator" Smith. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Chicago White Sox. Rock out with your Sox out. [WGN] • NFL: Preseason, New England at Carolina. Baby Brady to enjoy his firs...
A Q&A With Sally Jenkins
Sally Jenkins is one of the most formidable sportswriters in this great land of ours; her work for The Washington Post won her the Associated Press' Sports Columnist Of The Year award, which is a real award and actually kind of esteemed, if you can believe that. She's the co-author of It's Not About...
More Pants Parties, But Remember To Pay Up
We had a grand time this past weekend at the Atlanta Pants Party this weekend, and watching Brandon Webb extend that scoreless innings streak was put a small part. And there are more coming, fellow humans....
And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....
Hope You Didn't Forget About Pedro
Whatever your thoughts about the Mets, or little people, or any of it, we have to say, it just seems right — and exciting even — to see Pedro Martinez making his way back. It doesn't quite feel like baseball is in order without him....
The Dog Wars Begin
At last, we are seeing the expected fallout from the Michael Vick dogfighting imbroglio: The dogs have had enough of our spot at the top of the food chain and are taking their revenge....
Matt Leinart Schmoozes Like A Champion
When you're a fan of an NFL team, all you can hope is that your team's leader is setting his sights on the ultimate prize: The Super Bowl. If he's not trying to win the whole thing, what's the point? A championship is all that matters. And clearly, Buzzsaw quarterback / Patch Adams buddy Matt Leinar...