art Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rainy And Dumb At Shea
Think about how, on a daily basis, the weather affects your life. Sure, it can be a pain to carry an umbrella on the way to the car, and maybe your mood as you glance out the window from your anonymous, soulless cubicle on the fourth floor. But you can deal with it; it's mostly just something to tal...
East Side Little League Will Cap Your Ass
First of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....
Enjoy The Comedic Stylings Of Lenny DiNardo
Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York....
Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....
Baseball Fans Search For Loopholes On Billy Donovan Night
We are not here to mock you, Billy Donovan. Yes, you backed out of your $27.5 million deal to coach the Orlando Magic; but we feel your pain. Steve Spurrier feels your pain. Homer and Ned feel your pain. And the Fort Myers Miracle minor league baseball team, they ... well, OK, they're here to mock y...
French Open: Whoever Wins, Ana Wins
You COULD be watching the French Open women's final this morning. Or you could simply watch this video clip of sultry photos of Ana "You Got Serbed" Ivanovic. For our convenience, I am doing both....
Finally, We Can Love Women's Tennis Once Again (Gurgle) ...
So what, we have freaking robot children now, but we can't invent a female tennis player who is both super smoking hot and amazingly talented? Well that's just a load of ... wait. Ana Ivanovic? Could it be true?...
It's Probably Not Smart For This Guy To Show His Face In Esbjerg Anytime Soon
Over the weekend, a fan of Denmark's soccer team sprinted on the field and attacked a referee after a call went again the Danes. That's bad enough, but the real problem was that Denmark had rallied back from a three-goal deficit to the tie the game ... and after the attack, the referee abandoned the...
Why Yes, You Can Interest Caron Butler In Some Cake And Ice Cream
Caron Butler's been to both ends of the birthday party spectrum in the last year. Of course, there was Gilbert Arenas's blow-out, complete with ice sculpture, Busta Rhymes, and the Arenas Express Card....
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
Quincy Carter Struggling With His af2 Responsibilities
Because being employed by the Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings wasn't enough to hammer convince Quincy Carter that he needs to pull it together, the Battle Wings have suspended him two games for missing team meetings....
We Will Cherish Him, And Keep Him Warm
You might remember, from a couple months ago, that famous eBay auction in which we discovered that Barbaro lives on forever through snack food. To remind, from the seller:...
How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...
Sophia Loren Antes Up A Couple Of Years Late
We are no strangers here to certain women who promise to remove certain clothing items if other certain things happen in the world of sports. Anyone who followed the SHOTY competition knows exactly what we mean. We get our hopes up and what happens? Heartache, nothing but heartache!...
Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...
May Stuart Scott Leave Your Mother The Hell Alone This Evening
Mother's Day will soon have come and gone, but there's still time to relive one of the all-time greatest mother moments in sports history. Carmelo Anthony's mother, overcome with emotion, beaming with pride as her son lives his proudest moment ... and Stuart Scott antagonizing her with a microphone....
How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...
Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...
That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....