as Page 2207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jayhawks Believe They're In the Clear
Darrell Arthur probably shouldn't have been eligible to play for Kansas, but the school's Athletic Director doesn't seem to be too concerned with any ramifications. Jim Marchiony told the Witchita Eagle that he "can't see this affecting Kansas or Darrell Arthur," because the player's high school tr...
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting... • MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk. • NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible ...
Game Called On Account Of Jellyfish
Enjoy it while you can, Marlins fans. Your team may have won two World Series titles and is currently in first place in the NL Central East, but things have a way of evening out (Dontrelle Willis calls it karma). According to a study cited in the Orlando Sentinel, the polar ice caps are melting at s...
Boston Little League Crushes Rogue Parent, Keeps Nation Free For Democracy
A seven-year-old Boston area Little Leaguer was benched for two games recently when his mother didn't show up for her scheduled shift at the league snack bar. The Freetown Youth Athletic Association levied the penalty on the child due to his scofflaw mother, who claims that — get this — she had to w...
Jose Canseco Would Like To Tussle With Athletic-Types
Per Radar, it appears Jose Canseco is about to embark on his latest money-making idea'r and this time it involves two of his favorite pastimes: 1) Mixed martial arts, and 2) Shameless hucksterism....
Talking To Manny's High Five Friend
Whatever your thoughts about Manny Ramirez and the Boston Red Sox, you had to love Manny's wild, patented "great catch, followed by high five, followed by doubling off a runner from first base" play from Wednesday. It was a signature Manny moment; insane, absurd, joyous. But what about the fan he hi...
Jason Giambi And The Yankees Sing The Thong Song
Remember how in Bull Durham, when Nuke LaLoosh wears a garter belt to help relax him on the mound? Well, apparently, Jason Giambi has a similar slumpbusting technique ... though it's perhaps one he shouldn't share with the world....
The Problem With The Padres? Tight Booties
What's wrong with the Padres? With Thursday's 4-0 loss to the Cubs, our Closest Team to Mexico is at 15-27, the worst record in the majors ... that's more horrible than Detroit, folks. The big reason seems to be the strikeouts-per-at-bats ratio, or as scientists call it, tight booties. Just listen ...
Pats' Beat Writer Attempts To Keep Fans From Yelling At Him For The Rest Of His Life
Boston Herald Patriots beat writer John Tomase promised an apology — and an explanation — after it was revealed that his February 2 story about the Pats taping the Rams' walkthrough before Super Bowl XXXVI wasn't true. (The tape failed to materialize and never existed.) Boy, did he ever come through...
About Last Night
What you missed while eating your $100 cheesesteak ... • NBA: Manu the Hour ... Ginobli's 25 points lead Spurs' rout of Hornets, force game 7 in New Orleans. That should be fun, eh? • MLB: No matter where you try to hide pitcher Jason Isringhausen, someone's bound to find him. Pirates 11, Cardinals ...
The 1986 Cardinals Are In The World Series!
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team has reached the World Series. We're a little ashamed by how much joy this has brought us, but there it is....
Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association's St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....
Ken Griffey Jr. Is Quite The Rapscallion
It has been pleasant to watch Ken Griffey Jr., who played with such joy as a youth before becoming surly in his mid-career, rediscover the mirth, the smile, that made us all adore him. As his time has wound down, he has loosened up and enjoyed himself, tossing jockstraps to fans and, yesterday, fi...
Orioles Magic ... Uh, Catch It, Or Something
We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles....
Cubs Have Second-Best Record In Baseball! (Me No Like Bizarro World)
If it weren't for those insufferable Diamondbacks, who play in the NL West and therefore should only get to count every other win, the Chicago Cubs would be our new overlords. As it is the Northsiders have a 24-16 record after their 8-5 win over the Padres on Wednesday, one game worse than Arizona's...
About Last Night
What you missed while plotting to catch the roadrunner in a perfect storm of ACME mayhem ... • MLB: The Adventures of Robinson Cano ... Yankees strike back, end Rays' win streak. • NBA: Kevin Garnett really does prefer those home uniforms. Celtics 96, Cavaliers 89. • NHL: Stars alive!...
Our Long National Nightmare Might Really Be Over
Although there have been rumors circulating for the last couple days via every gossip blog on the planet, there was still no real confirmation as to whether or not Cowboys' singing sensation Tony Romo and his personal ample-breasted quarterback Jessica Simpson had called it quits....
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....