as Page 2223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Benny The Bull Will Put A Cap In Your Ass
When talking about illegal mascot shenanigans, no one, of course, beats the drunken exploits of the Stanford Tree. But running a close second is Benny the Bull, the only NBA mascot with a criminal record for battery on a police officer. On Tuesday he was at it again, shooting the Celtics' Kevin Garn...
All Hail The Sword Of Rathgar!
A confession: We love Medieval Times. We went there for a friend's birthday a couple of years ago, and when we went out drinking afterwards, we ran into the Red Knight. He was surly, even for a knight; he wouldn't even sign our plastic axe. Dick. Anyway, Rashard Lewis is apparently quite the Medieva...
Jason Smith Might Be A Little Itchy
According to ex-adult entertainer Mary Carey, Sixers rookie big man Jason Smith was the victim of her spider-monkey-esque make-out session on Monday night. Smith, the Sixers 20th pick in the 2007 draft, has provided playoff-bound Sixers some additional big-man depth off the bench this season but, ac...
Storming The Floor's Postseason Awards
Storming The Floor does a comprehensive review of the 2007-08 college basketball season....
Welcome Back Everybody!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who secretly wishes that the NBA regular season was even longer. When he's not formally requesting that David Stern institute a 300-game season, you can find him engaged in thrilling intellectual debates regarding fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Agent Ze...
Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....
About Last Night
What you missed while going to the beach and using your new Super Bowl ring to signal ships ... • NFL: Owners get together and cook up a bunch of goofy new rules. Fun! • NBA: Dirk is back, which evidently the Warriors weren't expecting. Dallas 111, Golden State 86. • NHL: Penguins clinch division ti...
Lute Olson's Back And Surly Like A Fox
The University of Arizona has its long-standing head basketball coach back on the bench, but he apparently upped his prickliness quotient during his season-long leave of absence . First order of business? Fire the guy who kept the ship afloat while you were gone. Kevin O'Neill, who was at one point ...
Make Shea Rock Slightly Harder This Year
Right now, you can vote for the song that the Mets should play during the eighth-inning singalong at Shea this year. The choices are as boring as you'd expect: "Brown Eyed Girl," "Sweet Caroline," ... jeez, is that the theme song from "Friends?" Ack!...
Moises Alou's Timing Leaves Much To Be Desired
As has been well documented, if Moises Alou, back in 2003, just slowly jogs away from the left-field wall, no one ever knows who Steve Bartman is, and people can go back to blaming Alex Gonzalez or Mark Prior or whomever they want to blame. (You know, people who actually played.) A few years ago, Al...
Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking
You may remember, from a year and a half ago, Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya being injured because of his addiction to Guitar Hero. (It happens. We understand.) Well, Zumaya, who is out until midseason, apparently has not lost the jones, as this recent Facebook picture attests....
Those Proofreading Cubbies
Up until this morning, this was what the new Ernie Banks statue looked like in front of Wrigley Field. Yes, they missed an apostrophe....
John Daly Gets Boobs Jiggled, Twisted
Here’s John Daly, at the Shell Houston Open driving range receiving both a back massage and what appears to be an impromptu gynecomastia check-up from one python-armed assistant....
Is The Indiana Job Really That Great Of A Gig?
As an Illini fan eager to hammer Indiana at every opportunity, we must admit that we can't find much to mock about the hiring of Tom Crean. The guy's a respected coach, a solid citizen and has a funny name. No arguments there. Except ... why the heck is he leaving Marquette for Indiana?...
Finally, Massholes Have Something to Celebrate
As we wait for the Final Four to finally kick off on Saturday, the gang at Storming the Floor are amusing themselves with the championship-like substance contained in the NIT and CBI post-season tournaments....
Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while being mocked for wearing a Jeff Weaver jersey ... • Yankees win final home opener of old, decaying, imposing corporate edifice. • Tennessee, Connecticut advance to women's Final Four. Their coaches have now decided to be best friends. • Peja, baby! Hornets stay atop Western Con...