Moises Alou's Timing Leaves Much To Be Desired

As has been well documented, if Moises Alou, back in 2003, just slowly jogs away from the left-field wall, no one ever knows who Steve Bartman is, and people can go back to blaming Alex Gonzalez or Mark Prior or whomever they want to blame. (You know, people who actually played.) A few years ago, Alou said he "forgave" Bartman, as if he'd done something wrong. Now he's taking it even further.

Now Alou — the only person who would really know — admits he wouldn't have caught the ball anyway.

"Everywhere I play, even now, people still yell, 'Bartman! Bartman!' I feel really bad for the kid," Alou told Associated Press columnist Jim Litke. "You know what the funny thing is?" he added a moment later. "I wouldn't have caught it, anyway."

As Litke pointed out, that's not what he said then:

"I timed it perfectly, I jumped perfectly. I'm almost 100 percent that I had a clean shot to catch the ball. All of a sudden, there's a hand on my glove. Hopefully, he won't have to regret it for the rest of his life."

Hey, Moises: Thanks for speaking up now, you doof. We do, however, give him credit for not tearing an ACL when he was jumping up and down, something that we know now, apparently, to be a total drama queen performance.

Steve: Sorry, man, for the millionth time, that all this happened to you. STAY HIDDEN. It's better where you are.

Can't Truss It[Deuce Of Davenport]