as Page 2292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soon, You Will Hear Tales Of Isiah's Smooth Talk
If you believe both sides involved in the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case, the trial that's scheduled to begin today, justice will be served and a full trial will be played out. But anyone who knows anything about the law is practically begging both sides to settle....

There's LSU ... And Then Everyone Else
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Shea Stadium Fans Love Them Some Pedro
Who was out at Shea yesterday for the big Pedro Lovefest '07? Faith and Fear in Flushing, for one, which is so giddy over their hero's return that they are declaring September the Mets' Second Spring. Pedro Martinez turned in his second strong outing following his return from the DL, lifting the Met...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to convince everyone that Timmy's in the well again ... • NFL: Ever notice that Frank Caliendo does a better Madden than Madden himself? Cowboys 45, Giants 35. • MLB: Take that, and that and THAT ... Brewers unleash the hounds, retake sole possession of first. • Track & ...

It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....

More Late Game Bukkake
San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bear...

Tomlinson Rushes Not Exactly Like Nike Zoom Commercial
All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears....

You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em...
There's a big underground poker game here in Greenville that I had been trying to get into for months. Last month, somebody robbed it. [Up For Poker]...

Sunday Game Update Bukkake
Apparently the Patriots are good (but we still hate them). Randy Moss hauls in nine for 183 yards and all the white Patriots fans can glory because Wes Welker got in the endzone as well. Did Belichick shake Mangini's hand? Do I care? Well, actually — no, I mean, no....

Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...

We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...

With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attempting to hibernate through Sunday morning. • CFB: Rutgers dispatched the Midshipmen 41-24. I wish the Marines had a football team, Ufford is the white Wes Welker.: • Boxing: Zab "Super Jew" Judah def. Edwin Vazquez in a unanimous decision. Zab survived an early headbutt th...

Why The Radio Silence From The Cardinals?
It has been about 15 hours since the Rick Ankiel story broke, and so far, the only public comment has been Cardinals general manager Walt Jocketty's clearly confused, wha-wha-WHAT? quote of "This is the first I've heard of this; If it's true, obviously it would be very tragic, along with everything ...

Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...

Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....

It's Almost Like The Cubs Are Jinxed Or Something
After 100 years of futility, there was really no reason for the folks in the Wrigley bleachers to celebrate early. That's just inviting disaster, isn't it? Cubs fans have only themselves to blame for this one. Oh, and Ryan Dempster too, we suppose. Chicago, leading by a game in the NL Central and f...