ass Page 241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Massachusetts Man Cannot Handle Seeing A Sunfish: "What The Fuck Is That, Kid?"
At first, it’s reasonable to think that this video’s protagonist, a man from Malden, is laying the Massachusetts accent on a little thick as he reacts to seeing a sunfish in the water. Oh man, Jay, it’s dead, bro, or somethin’! Michael Bergin’s interview with the Boston Globe basically confirms that...
Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....
Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....
The Texans Will Finally Ditch Their Death-Trap Grass
Houston’s NRG Stadium has turf unlike anywhere else in the NFL: it is natural grass, that, when not in use, is sliced up into 8’x 8’ trays and taken out of the dome to get some sunlight. It has been by all accounts the NFL’s worst playing surface, with the lawyer of one former players suing over a c...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
<i>Black Mass </i>Plays Like A Boston-Mob-Thriller Parody
1. Whatever your thoughts on The Departed or The Town—the modern Boston mob/crime thrillers that all modern Boston mob/crime thrillers are measured against—it is undeniable that everyone involved was deeply invested in both. Matt Damon had been waiting his whole life to play a character like his Dep...
Classic Man: "Don't Mess With A Bear"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we touched on how to deal with going bald; today, we’re talking bear alarms....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness....
Memphis Undoes Decision To Honor John Calipari After Fans Whine
Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend for a career that has, over nearly 30 years, seen his teams advance to six Final Fours (two of them vacated) and win an NCAA title. Before Calipari coached Kentucky, however, he spent nine seasons ...
Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....
Kansas State Band Insists They Were Not In Dong Formation
Kansas State officials continue to apologize for anyone they might have offended by Saturday’s Jayhawk-vs-dong marching band formation, while insisting there was “no ill intention.” The Star Trek-themed program purported to show the U.S.S. Enterprise attacking a “horrible space creature,” but to nea...
![Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]
This is, supposedly, the Kansas State band as the U.S.S. Enterprise “encountering a horrible space creature.” It looks a lot more like the Kansas Jayhawk performing fellatio....
Classic Man: Make Your Own Deodorant
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we talked baths for girls; today, we’re exploring the idea of homemade deodorant. ...
Darren Rovell Says Racism Is Okay If The Market Approves; ESPNers Flee
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probab...
Bat Fetching Sports Dog Retires After 649 Consecutive Games
All dogs are good dogs. This is objective fact and I will not hear any arguments against it. But some dogs, like Miss Babe Ruth of Greensboro, N.C., are better dogs. Since she was a nine-month-old puppy, the black labrador retriever has worked for the Class A Greensboro Grasshoppers, living up to he...
Dumbass Has Dumb Thoughts On Paternity Leave
Hate clicks are still clicks, but John Stiegerwald — the dumbass columnist who blamed Bryan Stow for getting beaten up — was kind enough to post his rant against Trevor Rosenthal taking paternity leave on Facebook, where we won’t have to give him any uniques to read his impressive buffoonery....
Results Of Baylor Investigation: We Need Another Investigation
In reaction to one of its football players being convicted of sexually assaulting another student, Baylor announced it would investigate “the circumstances associated with this case.” Merely a week later, the university released results from the law professor-led investigation at 7 p.m. Central on a...
Report: Woman Sues Derrick Rose, Says He Drugged, Gang Raped Her
TMZ is reporting tonight that Derrick Rose has been sued by a woman who says Rose and two of his friends “drugged and gang raped her.” The woman is asking for unspecified damages. Here is how the lawsuit describes what happened, per TMZ: ...