ass Page 241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Get Your Ass Back In Shape, And Keep It There
Now that the New Year's Resolutions crowd has cleared out of the gym, it's time to get down to business. The goal is not to become CrossFit truthers or pot-smoking ultramarathoners, but to simply avoid racking up massive medical bills due to poor health as we continue our slow, inevitable march to...

Bills Trade For Matt Cassel
The Bills announced they've agreed on a trade with the Vikings for QB Matt Cassel, with undisclosed draft picks heading both ways. Doesn't really matter! The new-look Bills have a quarterback. Sort of....

NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...

Oregon: We Have The Right To Access A Rape Victim's Medical Records
The University of Oregon is being sued by a student who claims that after she was raped by three basketball players, the school tailored and delayed their discipline so the men could play in the NCAA tournament. Those allegations alone sound horrible (Oregon denies them), but they've taken a distu...

Hassan Whiteside: Alex Len Mad "Because I Just Kept Dunking On Him"
Who knew the Heat and Suns loathed each other so much? Monday night's game was chippy—Markieff Morris flagrantly fouled former teammate Goran Dragic, and a few minutes later, Hassan Whiteside and Alex Len wrestled on the court. (Officials ejected Morris, Len, and Whiteside for their roles.) After th...

Hassan Whiteside Tackles Alex Len To The Floor In A Real NBA Fight
Hassan Whiteside fought just to make it to the NBA. He only played 111 minutes for the Kings in his first two seasons after being drafted, before he was waived. He played a season in the D-League without getting called up. He played in Lebanon, and then China, and then Lebanon again, and then Chin...

Report: Duke Coaches, Administrators Ignored Sexual Assault Allegations
Duke junior Rasheed Sulaimon was dismissed from the men's basketball team on Jan. 29, 2015, with no official explanation given. According to a report published today by the Chronicle, Duke's student newspaper, Sulaimon was dismissed more than a year after he was accused of sexually assaulting two ...

Bill Self Gets Crushed By Court-Stormers, Is Not Pleased
Unranked Kansas State knocked off the in-state rival Jayhawks at home last night, and that means it was time for a good old-fashioned court stormin'. Unfortunately for Kansas head coach Bill Self, the students who ran onto the court weren't too concerned with his well-being....

Lawsuit: UNM Interfered With Gang Rape Case Involving Football Players
A former student is suing the University of New Mexico's Board of Regents, alleging the university violated Title IX by failing to properly investigate what happened the night she claims she was drugged and raped, including by several football players. ...

VCU Fans Successfully Pull Off Fake Shot Clock Countdown
The fake shot clock countdown is a staple in college arenas across the country, but it only occasionally works. It's not too difficult for players to glance up at the big shot clock above each basket, and they're usually smart enough not to trust the opposing fans. I'm not positive the VCU fans tric...

Definitive Analysis Of That One Time Cassidy Rap-Battled Himself
It shouldn't surprise you that Cassidy, a baby-faced, Philly-born rapper who, about a decade ago, conspired with an alleged sexual predator to make one of the catchiest songs of all time and (allegedly) shot a man to death in the span of a few weeks, is a savage. I forgot about this for months or ...

Giant Shrieking Raven Occupies Levi's Stadium, All Is Lost
The entire Western seaboard is being evacuated today, after an NHL webcam captured what appears to be an enormous bird the size of a football field interrupting the rink construction for Saturday's Kings-Sharks game. It is too late for humanity; surely the black death shall devour us all. Should the...

Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
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Islanders Fan On TV: "My Son Was Conceived Back In That Parking Lot"
Tonight's Islanders broadcast featured an interview with an original season ticket holder—that's 42 seasons—and it's quite a doozy. I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I'll just say the interview touches on sex in the Nassau Coliseum parking lot and an interesting pregnancy decision that may ha...

<i></i>French Soccer Fans Rep Their Club With Stunning Colored Dust Cloud
Hey, this is really cool. Girondins de Bordeaux hosted AS Saint-Étienne today, and Bordeaux's fans thought of a cool new way to support their squad: dust....

Jamie Benn Apologizes To Sedins For Twincest Joke
Today in "headlines I never thought I'd write."...

Screencap Classix: Lil Wayne Devastates Jay Mariotti On <i>ATH</i>
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Screencap Classix: 69
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Read No More's Talking Points And Guide For How To Tweet Them Support
Are you ready for No More week? Guess what, it's coming! So are a bunch of tweets that read: "Learn about #NOMORE, a public awareness campaign making a difference in the lives of survivors." And probably people pointing you to this story about a domestic-violence hotline in the Dayton, Ohio area...

No More, The NFL's Domestic Violence Partner, Is A Sham
The brands have spoken, and they want you to know that domestic violence and sexual assault are bad. In fact, the brands not only think they’re bad, but have a theory as to why they persist: the issues of domestic violence and sexual assault don’t have a strong enough brand. So, to help get America ...