Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day

Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY.

Give me the goods, MTO:

Later, I was high and horny and so he took me to his room and took off his clothes and wanted me to give him head, and I was like OK. By the way - as big and lanky as he is, he has a very REGULAR sized d*ck.

His sh*t was a little MUSTY, but I didn’t care. Next he turned around and stuck his butt in my face. I was like WHAT?

I have never had a man just put his sweaty smelly butt in my face like that. I was like no, you have to wash it first. He started begging me like a little boy, saying that he loves [getting his azz eaten) and wanted me to smell it and tell him how nasty it was. Then he said he’d eat my azz afterwards.

I was high and drunk, and I’m embarrassed to say that I did it. It was disgusting, but I did it.

For all you detectives out there, here is a list of current NBA players whose names start with a “K.”

K.J. McDanielsKalin LucasKawhi LeonardKelly OlynykKemba WalkerKendall MarshallKendrick PerkinsKenneth FariedKent BazemoreKentavious Caldwell-PopeKenyon MartinKevin DurantKevin GarnettKevin LoveKevin MartinKevin SeraphinKhris MiddletonKirk HinrichKlay ThompsonKobe BryantKosta KoufosKostas PapanikolaouKris HumphriesKyle AndersonKyle KorverKyle LowryKyle O’QuinnKyle SinglerKyrie Irving

h/t Keenan

Photo via Getty

[ MTO]