ass Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...
Chicago Monument Desecration Continues Unabated
A 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup Finals has made the Blackhawks fans/statue vandals in Chicago drunk with power. They've moved on from a statue of a beloved sports icon to a statue of...something by Pablo Picasso. H/T Nick....
A Salute To Jose Canseco's Many Failures (Gallery)
Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of Jose Canseco taking a Carlos Martinez fly ball off the noggin for a home run. It was also the first anniversary of his MMA debut. Both are indelible moments in failuredom. Let's examine some Kanseco Klassics....
Maradona's Pot To Piss In Now Classy As All Get-Out
The Argentine boss demanded the standard toilets in his South Africa suite be replaced with two of "The World's Best Toilet Seat," just $449.95. Why two? One for the cocaine, obviously. [Daily Mail]...
Diarra Diarrhea Costs France A Midfielder
Lassana Diarra will miss the World Cup with what's euphemistically being called "a stomach ailment" or "intestinal pains." It must have been contagious when the entire team nearly shit the bed against Ireland. [AP]...
Watch The 1972 NBA One-On-One Championship, In All Its Glorious Weirdness
In 1972, the NBA had a one-on-one tournament for $15,000. They played by twos, to 20, win by four. There was a "take-it-out" line that was not the three-point line. The NBA: Where weird but sorta awesome used to happen....
Arkansas School For The Deaf's Team Nickname? The Leopards, Of Course
Why isn't it spelled "Leppard?" Other names considered by the ASFTD: "Jam," "Dumb and Blind," "Tones," "Arkansas School For The Deaf, Mos" [ASFTD]...
Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere
A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air....
Tell Me How My Class Tastes: Scenes From The Worst NFL Draft Party Ever
This is, on the surface, the tale of the lamest NFL Draft party of all time. But it's also a story about class and about fans who project their own anxieties on their favorite teams and about teams that respond in kind....
A Brief History Of The Greatest Twitter Hashtag Of All-Time
Sometimes, I wonder what we did in those dark years without the Internet and, more recently, without Twitter. Friday was one of those days, as I sifted through a Twitter search for a hashtag dubbed "WireDerbyHorseNames." Warning: Omar's coming, yo....
Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...
Soccer Player Screws Up Royally, Joins Group Of Elite Soccer Royal Screwer-Uppers
Kansas City BulletsWizards striker Kei Kamara had an early opportunity in a recent match against the LA Galaxy and proceeded to fall on his ass and get called for a handball. Anything for a laugh....
An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....
The College Recruiting Arms Race Reaches Its Natural Conclusion
Josh Selby is one of the last blue chip recruits yet to commit to a school for the fall. That changes tonight, at the Jordan Brand Classic, where Selby will announce his selection live on national TV....
David Brooks Provides Us With Yet Another Reason To Hate Duke (And David Brooks)
I'm sorry, somehow we missed this bit of intellection from the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, David Brooks: "How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?" he mused last week ... about Butler-Duke....
The Hedo Turkoglu Google-Commercial Parody Is Here To Creep You Out
This "parody" of those Google Search Story commercials is weird, to say the least, and bordering on bat-shit insane, to say more. While Turkoglu's been a bit of a disappointment this year, it's no reason to eat him. [YouTube]...
To Sit Or Not To Sit: Do Players Owe Fans Anything?
It's that time of year again: The time when NBA teams, secure in their playoff destiny, start phoning in their remaining regular season games. But are these millionaires really just robbing you, John Q. Slob, of your hard-earned minimum wages?...
Some Steelers Fans Have Soured On Big Ben: "He's A Jagoff"
Ben Roethlisberger won't be charged in the Milledgeville bathroom incident, but some Steeler faithful have declared Big Ben unfit to wear the Black & Gold. Our Pittsburgh correspondent, Domenick Cosentino, visited local watering holes last night to get some unfiltered Yinzer reaction....
Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....