ass Page 302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Nicholson attempts to sell out the Staples Center all by himself ... • NFL: New Orleans at Atlanta. On the same day that Michael Vick is sentenced? Irony, thy name is WWL. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Buffalo. They're the Bruins, because just try to walk around in Boston without being bo...
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if you'll ever stop squinting... • NFL: Indianapolis at Baltimore. Take a shot every time they say "Mayflower" to make the game tolerable. [NBC] • Movie: Rocky IV. Brett Myers wouldn't take that shit from Adrian.ESPN Classic] • Movie: Meet John Doe. Alright, but if he's...
Former Fresno State Coach Is Rich...Pending Appeal
Stacy Johnson-Klein made a decent living as the women's basketball coach at Fresno State University. When she became the victim of sexual harassment and gender discrimination before eventually being fired she became a very wealthy woman....
Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....
When Ya Gotta Go ...
Sometimes, the call of nature is so powerful that it cannot be overcome. We know. We've been there. You might be in an inconvenient location, but whaddya gonna do? Just ask Kansas State forward Bill Walker....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as for once you get your ducks in a row, and two are shot by Ted Nugent ... • College basketball: Georgia Tech at Indiana; Wisconsin at Duke. We'll find out which conference is better, once and for all (not really). [ESPN] • Minnesota at Florida State; Purdue at Clemson. Do not anger a...
Another Rough Day At The Garden
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
There Goes A.B., Trying To Deny It Again
We know we should enjoy those text messages that are put on the scoreboard during baseball games these days — it's fan participation, after all — but inevitably they just seem like the screechings of teenagers, using a language we cannot understand. But we dont' take them seriously. But then again: ...
Andy Reid's Son's a Determined, Resourceful Junkie
Yesterday, in a small Montgomery County courtroom in a sleepy little ghetto-posing-as-the-suburbs called Norristown, Garrett Reid, 24-year-old son of Eagles' coach Andy Reid was sentenced to up to 23 months in jail stemming from his heroin-dazed car accident last January. In a revelatory moment, unf...
Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...
Patriots. Red Sox. Boston College. You just can't stop ANY of them. As if Massachusetts sports fans didn't have enough to tout, New England Revolution midfielder Michael Parkhurst scored his first career goal ... from midfield. Here's video proof that Jesus is simply engrossed in a month-long chowde...
For My Next Bet, I'll Need A Volunteer From The SEC
You've got a half hour left to put down money on amateur athletes. You're desperate. I mean, REALLY desperate. You turn to Deadspin for three shoe-in victories. You'll probably only cash in on one of them, but it's that one game in which you'll be forever indebted to me....
Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....
When Assimilation Goes Wrong: Negro NASCAR
You may remember The Assimilated Negro from his Negro Bowl I coverage for us last year. He returns to us to discuss NASCAR's odd decision to try to Negro-ize their sport....