ass Page 303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Penn State Will Sue Your Elementary School Back To The Stone Age
Hold on there, Conway Elementary School seventh-grade flag football team. Not another step. Your logo is infringing on the intellectual property rights of Penn State University, and must be removed from all t-shirts, school binders and backpacks. Here are a team of copyright lawyers to make sure you...
Victims Of Spin Rage: The Forgotten Minority
We revist yesterday's spin rage post for the simple reason that we now have a photo of Mr. Stuart Sugarman, the man who was unceremoniously thrown into a wall — along with his stationary bike — for refusing to stop grunting during his workout in a Manhattan gym. At first I was sympathetic to his pre...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally extricate your flamingo ... • Minor League Baseball: Class-AAA Championship Game, Bricktown Showdown, Richmond vs. Sacramento, at Oklahoma City. Braves vs. Rivercats, for the glory, and the money. But mostly the glory. [ESPN2] • MLB: Red Sox at Blue Jays. Boston kind ...
I Don't Care What the Calendar Says, Today Begins Fall
• 10:00 am — Soccer: Fulham vs. Tottenham Hotspur [FSC] • 11:00 am — Tennis: U.S. Open, Men's and Women's Third Round [CBS] • Noon — Soccer: Manchester United vs. Sunderland [FSC] • Noon — College Football(!!!): UAB at Michigan State (!!!) [ESPN2] • Noon — College Football: East Carolina at Virginia...
Andy Reid's Kids Are Not Holding Up The Family Name Very Well
If you think that Eagles fans are annoyed at Andy Reid's sons, consider my position as a diehard Green Hornet supporter. Britt Reid, of course, is Andy Reid's drug-enjoying, car-wrecking son ... but that's also the name of the Green Hornet's alter ego, newspaper publisher Britt Reid. Imagine my chag...
Jose Offerman's Comeback Attempt Hits A Minor Snag
As you surely knew, everyone's favorite smoldering volcano of goodness, ex-major league All-Star Jose Offerman, is playing for the Long Island Ducks of the Independent Atlantic League this season. Or, he was, until he went after opposing players with a bat on Tuesday night. Let's see Bonds try this....
Pac Man Is "Wrestling" At The Wrong Time
Before your proverbial panties are proverbially bunched by Pac Man Jones not really wrestling, the fine gents at Rich Kotite Banged Your Mom remind us that, in the olden days of 12 years ago, NFL players didn't just wrestle, they headlined Wrestlemania. There was no worry about injury back then, tho...
Pac Man Jones, Making It Pain
Far be it from us to impugn the trustworthiness of professional wrestling, but when a court order comes down saying that the headliner of your pay-per-view event "could not touch or be touched, grapple, shove, throw or have anything thrown at him by anyone working for or watching the show," well, we...
Will They Make It Rain On Pac Man's Face?
Weirdest thing, though, is that the promotional angle has pushed over into the real world; the man who was paralyzed in the famous Make It Rain strip club shooting is a former professional wrestler, and some guys are threatening to really hurt Pac Man....
Being An Obscure Gay Basketball Player Won't Help You Sell Books
It's difficult, in the world of sports book publishing, to garner better advance publicity than John Amaechi had for his book Man In The Middle....
The Dog Wars Begin
At last, we are seeing the expected fallout from the Michael Vick dogfighting imbroglio: The dogs have had enough of our spot at the top of the food chain and are taking their revenge....
Pac Man Jones Finds A League That Wants Him
It is a relief to know that, while he's serving his full-season suspension from the NFL this season — for, we repeat, charges he's yet to actually be arrested for — Pac Man Jones will be keeping himself busy....
A Day Full Of The Rock On ESPN Classic
We always enjoy ESPN's movie cross promotions, if by "enjoy," you mean "die a little inside." For every move that makes sense — if you're gonna make us sit through "Who's Now?" you might as well have Jessica Biel host it — you have 10 that turn your stomach, like the clips from Johnny Depp movies du...
Charlie Weis, Unsuccessful In Obese Litigation
Say what you will about Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis, but you can't say he isn't constantly charging forward. Whether it's recruiting, attacking a Cover 2 or, you know, gastric bypass surgery, the guy makes up his mind and just GOES FOR IT, MAN. Suck Off The Fat Like A Champion. Unfortunately, such...
Softball Players Are No Good At Word Games
Burnt Orange Nation ran an interview with former Texas softball pitcher Cat Osterman on Monday, at the end of which Osterman was asked to play a little word association (a recurring BON interview theme). While obviously a talented hurler, Osterman sadly bobbled this assignment. Instead of shooting b...
Rita Ragone Has Influential Friends
Be advised, Woody Paige; if you think that you're going to steamroll Rita Ragone in this sexual harrassment lawsuit due to your celebrity status, think again. Ms. Ragone, Stylist to the Stars, has some powerful friends. According to her web site, not only is Stephen A. Smith in her corner, but she a...
Mel Hall Is Not A Nice Man
If you're like us, you've always wondered: Whatever happened to Mel Hall? (This is why you are fortunately not like us.) The thoroughly average '80s-early '90s outfielder plays stumbled along for the Cubs and Indians before playing on some truly wretched Yankees teams. Plucky fellow. Hope matters tu...
Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....
The WWE Is Leaving No Stone Unturned
We didn't grow up watching much professional wrestling, so we don't have the solid foundation in its history as some of you might ... but we'll confess, for a writer/reporter, being brought into an ongoing WWE "feud" without your knowledge has to be quite the career highlight....