at Page 2392 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
Please welcome, making another appearance on our sofa — my ass. (Applause) Game 2: Spurs at Suns. Come see the franchise based solely on air conditioning. Dodgers at Giants: This used to be fun, back when Bonds and Beltre were juiced. NBA Draft Lottery: In which you are humiliated by a ping pong bal...
Tom Verducci Cleans Up His Own Mess
This week's Sports Ilustrated cover story — apparently SI.com has a magazine? — is about "the incredible shrinking slugger." The writer of this story is, of course, Tom Verducci, whose front page interview with Ken Caminiti three years ago got this whole ball rolling. Wouldn't it be hysterical if so...
Hey Fans, Come Pee In A Cup!
In the tradition of wacky minor league promotions everywhere, the Sioux Falls Canaries held a BALCO Be Gone promotion last night. All fans who arrived were given a free specimen cup and were tested for steroids throughout the game. (No word on how many fans ended up juiced.) They also had other g...
David Letterman: Nascar Dad
Like any right-minded American male between the ages of 24 and 54, we grew up loving David Letterman. And native Indianaian Letterman grew up loving the Indianapolis 500, culminating in his co-ownership of the Bobby Rahul Racing Team, which employs hot commodity Danica Patrick in this weekend's r...
The Notorious Punter
Todd Sauerbrun has always made a little too much news for a punter. It started when the Bears made him a second-round draft pick, which was a totally good idea, really. Then he was accused of taking steroids prescribed by Panthers team doctors. Then he was involved in some hot punter-on-punter tr...
Tyrone Calico: Parking Novice
Any teenage boy could tell you the importance of parking. When your parents won't leave the house and you can't afford a hotel, the only place you can make out with girls is in your car. There are some key rules, though:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while dangling from a tree in your parachute ... Pistons go up 1-0 on Heat. As it turns out, Shaq still has some parts on back order.Anastasia Myskina ousted in French Open. The good news: You've never liked women's tennis. Danica Patrick on Letterman: Female Indy qualifier has cab c...
Boobs. Is There Anything Else Newsworthy?
You didn't think we'd ignore this all day, did you? The New York Post features a sports column today from the only person who knows less about the NBA than Peter Vescey: Anna Benson! The wife of overpaid Mets righthander Kris Benson penned the first of what will hopefully be millions of NY Post d...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Tonight Instead Of Chuckling At Soldiers Glaring At Nick Lachey: Game 1: Pistons at Heat: Little men make Shaq mad! Shaq crush little men! White Sox at Angels: The game will be played somewhere in the Los Angeles area. We're not allowed to say exactly where. Pirates at Cardinals: If Bo...
Bo Bice: The New Reggie Miller
Those looking for next "clutch" player to replace Reggie "Never Won A Title But Am Somehow Considered The Best Crunch Time Guy Ever" Miller should turn their eyes away from the court and toward lousy FOX reality television, says Flak's Bob Cook in his weekly "Bring Out The Sports!" column. (We re...
Just Thinking Out Loud Here ...
Major congrats to the Montclair (N.J.) High School softball team, which scored two major upsets to advance to the Essex County finals Saturday night before falling to Caldwell High 1-0 in eight innings. Caitlyn Bishop, you're doing one incredible job as Mary Beth King's heir in the circle. This team...
SI.com: The Web's Pauly Shore
From the things that were a bad idea from the start department: Some poor sucker at SI.com tries an imaginary conversation between Larry David and Nate Newton. Highlight: So? It bothers me. Sitting within a 10-foot radius of this kind of gluttony bothers me. And what I am supposed to do when I'm fin...
SI.com's Fun Advertorials
We'll be honest: We don't know who Rob Stanger is. According to the bio that runs with his new column on SI.com, he is the head teaching pro at the Golf Academy at Mission Hills in Rancho Mirage, Calif., is recognized as a Golf magazine Top Teacher in America in the West Region. How this qualifies h...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly watching Desperate Housewives ......
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
Put That Coffee DOWN
As Sinead O'Connor once said: "Fight the real enemy." In this case, the World Anti-Doping Agency says that enemy is coffee. The agency head, the unfortunately named Dick Pound, says the agency is considering putting caffeine on the banned substances list. Apparently the Australian Institute of Sport...
"I'm Having Dreams About Grant Wistrom"
One of our favorite mailing lists is the NFLwives club Yahoo Group. A recent discussion concerning which white football players would be willing to date black women (don't ask) yielded this tidbit from a poster named "first_chose":...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line for Star Wars tickets ... Suns go up 3-2 on Mavericks: Revenge of the Ewok as Nash goes for 34 against old team. Another setback for Bonds: He's attached to an IV in emergency attempt to distill some humility. M's end Yankees' win streak at 10: You may now resu...