ball Page 1786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roll Over And Die Like A Champion
We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try....
One Sweet Afternoon For Jim Thome
If you ask me, Jim Thome is exactly the kind of guy to whom Willy Wonka would have left his chocolate factory. (I also sometimes imagine Bob Costas as an Oompa Loompa). Think of baseball with no cattle steroids or corked bats or "You dead, dawg," or Human Growth Hormone or Jose Canseco book signings...
Tom Brady, LaDainian Tomlinson, And You!
Well, another weekend, another twenty to thirty televised football games. Whew. What a weekend. I've never eaten so much beef jerky in my life! (I really need to take up smoking.) But hey, we're not done yet. No, that would be healthy....
Saturday Night Football Live From Somewhere
I have no idea how you guys watch all of this college football action AND the NFL. Seriously. My retinas are shot and my back is effin' killing me. And it's only Saturday! Gah! You guys must be machines! (Well, that, or really, really fat.)...
The Day The Poon Died ...
I don't wish to put a damper on your college football fun, but I have very bad news. So, please, stop what you're doing for a second, sit down, and maybe chug some hard liquor. SEC Poon is dead. (I'm sorry.)...
My Urban Dictionary Says This Is Funny ...
Mr. Irrelevant, Jamie Mottram, forwarded me this gem at 8:30 am this morning. Yes, eight-thirty. Jamie Mottram was so damn excited to show me a photo of two WV Mountaineer defensive ends forming the largest dingleberry in the world that he couldn't even sleep. No wonder this guy is successful....
Maj's Parlay O' The Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like campfires and hallucinogenic mushrooms. Which is why I asked the Selleck to my Guttenberg, Unsilent Majority, to share some more of his valuable college football gambling wisdom with us today. Dumb disclaimer: the following "wisdom" could be wrong. The...
The Grand Sportsmanship Of The Terrapins Fans
Maryland might not have been particularly competitive in its loss to West Virginia last night, but that's only if look at it as an on-the-field endeavor. Off the field, the Terrapins fans were kicking some ass....
Please Don't Burn Down Our Big House
According to an email from one former Michigan player to a group of Michigan alumni, the alums are planning a little pump-er-upper tomorrow for the Irish game....
Up Close And Personal With Ned
We're just about 27 hours away from the monstrous battle between Miami and Florida International, and the return of Ned....
Here Comes The Hurt Again
Alternate headline: Everybody Hurts (Sometime). If there's such a thing as momentum in sports — as if games are a rolling wheel of cheese and players are stumbling down a grassy English hill — then the Yankees just lost it on the eve of their most important series of the season. A.J. Burnett pitched...
Is It Wrong To Do It With An Opposing Team's Fan?
To this day, our favorite ESPN commercial remains the one where the male Ohio State fan and the female Michigan fans make out with each other. There's something primal about our reaction to it; it seems grotesque, somehow, like cousins French kissing, or a dog doing it with a sheep. Sleeping with yo...
Today In Illict Drug Use
We were awfully relieved to wake up this morning — the worst part about doing the site on the West Coast is that we still have to get out of bed as if we were still on the East Coast; our wakeup call was 4:30 this morning — and pick up our Seattle Times. We love local papers; they're awfully excited...
He Might Get More Votes Than Mike Gravel
You've been blinded by the breathtaking brilliance of Digger Phelps on ESPN for years. Somehow, in the vast barren nation of banality, Phelps has been a beacon of hope and brilliance. So much so that, sheesh, we should elect him President!...
Marlins-Nationals Always Brings In The Big Crowds
We know it's the middle of September, and it's still kind of hot out, and everyone's back at work and concentrating on their jobs — really! — so not many have time to just head to Dolphins Stadium and watch two lousy teams play each other. But 400 people? 400? Really?...
Appalachian State Fans Are Still, Well, Appalachians
We can understand that Appalachian State fans would want to remember their upset victory over Michigan forever, keep it close to them so that, in moments of despair, they can remember that anything is possible, that the world can be a transformative place. (Particularly when Michigan is terrible.) B...
Being Scared Of Detection Can Hurt Team Morale
Viva El Birdos brings up a stat we hadn't noticed, and one that kind of blew us away: In the games since Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons and Troy Glaus were linked with illegal steroids and/or HGH, their teams have yet to win a game....
This Is Getting Ridiculous
Lee to Theriot to Dempster is the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance? With a runner on third and nursing a one-run lead, reliever Ryan Dempster induced a bad-hop grounder to first baseman Derek Lee, who converted it into a game-ending double play. Cubs 3, Astros 2, and coupled with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss ...
At Last, Ned Has His Opportunity At Revenge
Sure, you can talk all you want about Michigan-Notre Dame — and the apparent curse of Bo Schembechler — but the real story this weekend is what's happening at the Orange Bowl on Saturday. That's right: It's the return of Ned!...