balls-deep Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Balls, Ranked
NOTE: Rankings are for the actual balls, not the sports played with them....
Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...
And Now, The World’s Most Terrifyingly Inappropriate <i>Minecraft</i> Videos
Last week, I took a moment to explain why Minecraft, the world's biggest video game, sucks hard balls. And in my "research" for that post (five minutes), I found a number of Minecraft recreations of 9/11 over on YouTube. All of these tributes are misguided at best and tasteless at worst …...
Jim Boeheim Is The NCAA’s Favorite Kind Of Shitbag
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering bowling, moon colonies, giant scorpions, and more....
Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
Why Your Children’s Video Game Sucks: <i>Minecraft </i>
The Game: Minecraft...
Things That Are The Worst, Ranked
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the dress, pantsless driving, bare feet, and more....
What Are We Being Ordered To Care About Instead Of That Goddamn Dress?
The Rule of the Internet is that when people argue about something silly, like the color of a goddamn dress, an army of remarkably irritating people will amass to counter that phenomenon and remind you that you are a shallow cock for worrying about the color of a dress. Let's meet these smarm merch...
Russell Wilson’s Ball-Bread Is Fucking Weird
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering failed romantic gestures, Oscar stuff, hamburgers and sex, and more....
How To Tweet If You Are A Famous Athlete
Last week, current Niners QB and future miserable player on a 4-12 team Colin Kaepernick got into a Twitter beef with random Twitter user Stephen Batten (Twitter handle @battman_returns, which is a weak handle when @BattenDownTheSnatches was right there for the taking). It started when Kaep tweeted ...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2015 Oscars
Every year, the Oscars come along, and it becomes more evident that the Oscars are the worst live event on television. Other award shows are smart enough to jettison technical categories, get the nominees shitfaced, and encourage poor wardrobe choices. Meanwhile, these things are still as self-im...
Let's Cast The ESPN Movie!
Yesterday, James Andrew Miller, one of the co-authors of the ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun, announced on Twitter that a movie of the book is currently in the works, and that he's writing the script. We're hoping the script features some suit telling Keith Olbermann to turn in his b...
Please Don’t Post Open-Casket Photos On Facebook
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're fouling out, sleeping in, talking jarred fetuses, and more....
The Hater’s Guide To Chuck E. Cheese’s
I have a son who turned six a few weeks ago, and we needed to do something to acknowledge the milestone, even though turning six doesn't really mean anything. I have long been an advocate for the abolition of BIG BIRTHDAY, but kids have a knack for teaming up with the Birthday Industrial Complex ...
It Happened To Me: I Tried To Fight A Mirror
I'm gonna tell this story again, because it's the dumbest thing that's ever happened to me, and no one at Gawker Media believes that anyone could be so stupid. But I was. Again, this will be very difficult to explain, because it requires LAYERS of idiocy on the part of the protagonist (that would ...
Jon Stewart Should Run For Office
So Jon Stewart formally announced his impending retirement/Jeter Farewell Tour last night. (Twitter, as it does, reacted as if he had died, so my condolences.) And naturally, he took a moment to say that he might use his time off to spend more time with his family. Now, you and I have heard this fr...
How To Dump A Friend
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're talking Jayson Williams, Kanye, holiday sex, and more....
"Stop A Douchebag" Movement Shames Nutjob Russian Drivers
Russia is a country that only has "laws" in the loosest possible sense, which is why people there drive like absolute fucking maniacs. Thankfully, a youth group named Stop A Douchebag is bravely (some might say foolishly) attempting to address the problem. Reader Jeff explains:...
The Quest For Virality Is Making Everything Shitty
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....