balls Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Cast The ESPN Movie!
Yesterday, James Andrew Miller, one of the co-authors of the ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun, announced on Twitter that a movie of the book is currently in the works, and that he's writing the script. We're hoping the script features some suit telling Keith Olbermann to turn in his b...
Please Don’t Post Open-Casket Photos On Facebook
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're fouling out, sleeping in, talking jarred fetuses, and more....
The Hater’s Guide To Chuck E. Cheese’s
I have a son who turned six a few weeks ago, and we needed to do something to acknowledge the milestone, even though turning six doesn't really mean anything. I have long been an advocate for the abolition of BIG BIRTHDAY, but kids have a knack for teaming up with the Birthday Industrial Complex ...
It Happened To Me: I Tried To Fight A Mirror
I'm gonna tell this story again, because it's the dumbest thing that's ever happened to me, and no one at Gawker Media believes that anyone could be so stupid. But I was. Again, this will be very difficult to explain, because it requires LAYERS of idiocy on the part of the protagonist (that would ...
Jon Stewart Should Run For Office
So Jon Stewart formally announced his impending retirement/Jeter Farewell Tour last night. (Twitter, as it does, reacted as if he had died, so my condolences.) And naturally, he took a moment to say that he might use his time off to spend more time with his family. Now, you and I have heard this fr...
How To Dump A Friend
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're talking Jayson Williams, Kanye, holiday sex, and more....
"Stop A Douchebag" Movement Shames Nutjob Russian Drivers
Russia is a country that only has "laws" in the loosest possible sense, which is why people there drive like absolute fucking maniacs. Thankfully, a youth group named Stop A Douchebag is bravely (some might say foolishly) attempting to address the problem. Reader Jeff explains:...
The Quest For Virality Is Making Everything Shitty
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Peter King Defends Hall Of Fame’s Right To Honor Alleged Serial Rapist
The NFL season is over, which means it's probably a good time for big-time NFL writers to go home and take a nap. And it seems no certified water-carrier needs a break more than SI's Peter King, who took to Twitter last night to defend the Hall of Fame candidacy of … alleged serial rapist Darren Sh...
Basketball Hangs On Rim Forever, Delights Jeremy Lamb
Given how fast-paced and fluid basketball can be, it's always funny when some unexpected shit happens and throws off the entire rhythm of the game. That's exactly what went down during last night's game between the Thunder and Magic, when the ball just refused to let go of the rim....
Counterpoint: Tom Brady Is One Of The Best Of All Time, Moron
I knew there would be a lot of shitty hot takes in the wake of yesterday's titanic Super Bowl. But I didn't know that the worst take of all would come from THIS VERY WEBSITE, from the otherwise perfectly reasonable Barry Petchesky. Barry is a Giants fan, so maybe his brain has been wadded up with ...
Your Fake, Zany Craigslist Ad Is Stupid And Annoying
In 2015, the only people out there who have any real use for Craigslist are hookers and serial murderers. Personally speaking, I haven't used the site since 2009, when my wife and I bought an outdoor playhouse from a lady nearby. Turned out the playhouse had a colony of yellowjackets inside of it....
Do Not Root For The Goddamn Patriots
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Sports Crimes, Ranked
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering hot sauces, Ballghazi, jacking it in the doctor's office, and more....
<i>GQ</i>: Goodell Berates NFL Employees for Being Overpaid
Over at my other day job, GQ just posted this big fat schlongread from Gabriel Sherman about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. You should head over there and read the whole thing now, because the piece does wonders for anyone who (like me) is looking to hate Goodell even more than they already do. I...
Tom Brady: I Didn't Alter Or Even Notice The Underinflated Balls
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady met with the press today in Foxborough and confessed ignorance as to how New England came to be using under-inflated footballs—and, incredibly, that he didn't even notice the illegal balls....
The Hottest Fashion Trend For 2015 Is Underdick (NSFW)
If you love dick and you love fashion, then what the fuck are you doing standing here reading this blog post? You should have been at Rick Owen's fall/winter 2015 showcase, where the hottest trend was visible dick. ...
Time For Your Worst-Ever Poop Stories
Oh God, the Super Bowl bye week. I feel as if all the blood has been drained from my body. No playoff games. No picked up flags. No de-juiced balls. No endless replays. I barely know what to do with myself, apart from avoiding the Pro Bowl....
Last Night's <i>Hannity</i> Just Couldn't Stop Talking About Ballsacks
It's no surprise Ballghazi is taking over the cable news airwaves, but the national nets have sadly been too humble or afraid to utter the necessary term "ballsack." American patriot Sean Hannity's program is the home of real talk, though, and last night they just couldn't stop talking about ballsac...
The Greatest Mötley Crüe Songs Of All Time (And The Worst)
Wanna be a roadie? Guess what? BEING A ROADIE SUCKS. I spent a couple days on tour with Mötley Crüe for this big GQ article that dropped today, and I have a newfound appreciation for the rigors of going on tour and setting up an entire goddamn stage in a new city in a differently shaped arena night ...