balls Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bill Belichick Was Trying Very Hard Not To Make Accidental Balls Jokes
At his press conference denying knowledge of deflated footballs, Patriots coach Bill Belichick discovered what we've know for days: it's very hard to talk or write about this story without making reference to "balls," and then giggling because it's very, very funny....
The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane
You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL M...
Brad Johnson Paid Some Guys To Doctor 100 Footballs Before Super Bowl
As we deal with the unfolding Patriots scandal, we seek context. And it's unclear precisely how common the practice of illegally doctoring footballs actually is among quarterbacks. But it's obvious that the urge to do so is universal, because the benefits are real and significant. Ask Brad Johnson, ...
The Patriots' Ballghazi Scandal Cannot Be Overblown Enough
If you've been struggling to care about the Patriots being accused of deflating footballs, and have been hoping the whole thing would just blow over so we could get to talking about a truly excellent and fascinating Super Bowl matchup, you, my friend, are shit out of luck. Ballghazi is real, and it ...
And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...
One Day We'll Be Too Lazy To Watch Football
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Oscar Nominations Won’t Solve A Fucking Thing
Okay, so the Oscar nominations came out this morning, and all of the acting categories feature white nominees, and all the Best Picture nominees are stories about dudes. As you can imagine, the Problem Internet was not pleased with this development. We go right to the takes!...
Local News Homepage Graced With The Presence Of Dick And Balls (NSFW)
WFAA.com is the homepage for the Dallas-Fort Worth area's local ABC affiliate. Let's take a look at the homepage to see what the hot news of the day is!...
Let's Look At All The Shitheads Who Thought A Playoff Was A Bad Idea
We'll start with the obvious, which is that the college football playoff was fucking awesome and I am happy that it finally exists. It returned meaningful football games to New Year's Day, which I had missed dearly. It amplified the importance of regular season games, rather than diluting them. I...
NFL Playoff Bonuses Are A Fucking Disgrace
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering weird TV people, jock strap games, chapped lips, boner grinding, and more....
How To Give A Ball-Bursting Football Speech
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
They Have Teasers For Teasers For Goddamn Trailers Now
Here is a teaser for the upcoming Ant-Man teaser, which I don't want to watch on principle, because FOR FUCK'S SAKE. How desperate for a goddamn Ant-Man movie do you have to be to get a boner over an ad for an ad for an ad?...
Maturity Is Horseshit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Kicker Hit Right In The Dick
The Liberty Bowl sure has been eventful! We've already had a Texas A&M student assistant go on a smackin' spree, and now we've got West Virginia kicker Josh Lambert taking a slap right to the dick and balls. ...
The Niners Are Fucking Stupid
Jim Harbaugh coached his last game for the Niners today, a game his team won despite the fact that the whole world knew he was on a plane to Ann Arbor the moment the whistle blew. He leaves San Francisco with a record of 44-19-1, with three NFC title game appearances (the first of which came in his...
OH GOD THE FLU IS GOING AROUND!!!!
Hey, you! Did you hear? THE FLU IS GOING AROUND! Oh, sweet Jesus strapped to a fuck gun! THE FLU! It's around! Out there. Possibly far, but also possibly near! People have it! The neighbor has it! Your dad has it! The whole Winklefart family has it! I heard 30 kids in Darla's second grad...
The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane
Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad wants you to find a job. These are not easy people to shop for. But what about your second cousin who moved to L.A., got introduced to Scientology by an actor friend, joined the ch...
This Has Been The Worst Season In NFL History
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
What's The Worst State In The Union To Get Drunk In?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering airplane diapers, arena baseball, ice, and more....
Coming Out Flat Is The Secret Disease Of All Sports
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....