balls Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All 100 Times Jeter's Name Was Mentioned On Fox—And All Zero Of Gwynn's
Lest you forget, Fox was sure to make you aware that this is Derek Jeter's final season in the majors. The Captain's name was spoken no fewer than 100 times on tonight's All-Star Game broadcast, but at what cost? That of remembering people like Tony Gwynn, Don Zimmer, or Bob Welch—none of whom were ...
MLB Network Host Told Trout Before Game He'd Triple Home Derek Jeter
MLB Network host Greg Amsinger spoke with Angels slugger Mike Trout during today's pre-game festivities, and jokingly told the All-Star outfielder that he'd come up to bat with Derek Jeter on second base—and hit a triple to drive home the Yankees captain. Sure enough, that's exactly what happened in...
Communist Umpire Ruins All-Star Game On First Play
I'm sorry: is this, or is this not, Derek Jeter's night? Are we not saying farewell to The Captain tonight? Someone better get the umpires on board then, because on the second goddamned pitch of the game, Derek Sanderson Jeter went to his motherfucking left and snagged a rocket off the bat of Andrew...
Derek Jeter And Mike Trout
Derek Jeter and Mike Trout. Derek Jeter and Mike Trout. Derek Jeter and Mike Trout. Derek Jeter and Yasiel Puig and Mike Trout. Derek Jeter and Mike Trout. ...
Would LeBron Still Be In Miami If The Heat Had Won Their Third Title?
I started drinking coffee a year ago so I could wean myself off of Coke Zero, and the main thing I've learned in that time is that coffee makes you a complete asshole. I get all pissy now when I haven't had coffee. I get all pissy when I've had too much coffee. I get pissy if I'm having coffee,...
Down With America's Kid-Competition Complex
I was at a parent's night at my kid's school a couple of years ago—one of those things where you go to the school at night to meet the kid's teacher and eat a cookie and listen as the teacher tells you all the shit they do in class every day, and then you nod your head in approval. "Ah, yes. MUSIC...
So Many Mascots
This might be the greatest collection of baseball talent ever gathered in one place. Twenty-six mascots posed for a class photo yesterday in Minneapolis, delighting and horrifying onlookers in equal measure....
The Best Place To Sit At The Home Run Derby
I mean, if you're going to go to the damned Home Run Derby, you may as well catch a home run ball, right? Here's where to sit if you want to catch one—and where the most cost-effective seats per home run happen to be. ...
LeBron James Tells The Sports World Exactly What It Wants To Hear
Shortly after LeBron James announced via Sports Illustrated that he was heading back to Cleveland, Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski fired off this tweet, which, given the stature of his pronouncements at times like this, had the general air of a collective verdict:...
How America Voted In The All-Star Game Final Vote
Yesterday MLB announced that Chris Sale and Anthony Rizzo won the balloting for the final spots in the All-Star Game. Each was the best choice, but, yes, each was from Chicago....
<em>Denver Post</em> Columnist Writes The Hottest LeBron Take Ever
In a world where even Dan Shaughnessy will hedge against his own stupidity, we desperately need a local newspaper columnist who isn't afraid to dish out the kind of moral rectitude and one-sentence KABOOM paragraphs that will put the sporting world back on the path to righteousness. We need a hero....
YouTube Video Will Cause Actual Hallucinations
This video, from Kent, purports to have hallucinogenic effects so long as you watch it and follow the instructions. I have watched the video and can confirm: YEP I FEEL WEIRD. But it's totally worth doing it because life is boring and seeing everything turn all wavy is rad....
Rangers Fan Gets Hit By A Foul Ball, Grows Big Ol' Bruise
The video doesn't show this unfortunate Rangers fan getting hit with a foul ball, but we sure as hell get to see the aftermath. His friend got the baseball while he received a nice bruise for his trouble....
Why Redshirting Your Kindergartener Is Dumb
Before we get to the Funbag, Craggs wanted me to do a cattle call for audio and/or video of your local nutjob coach screaming at players. So if your indoor equestrian coach is chewing you out for hours at a time, and you had the moxie to take a video of said rant, send it on in. We won't yell at you...
Where Does David Ortiz Really Rank Among The All-Time Home Run Hitters?
David Ortiz hit his 450th home run late last month, moving him to 37th on the career home runs list. There's no doubt Ortiz has had a great career. But his are home runs in an era of home runs—and performance enhancers. He blends into his environment, that is to say. Since home runs were more in...
The Definitive List Of Excuses For Day Drinking
I missed one of the World Cup games the other day due to family obligations, so I caught up on highlights that night when ESPN did a cut-and-paste re-broadcast of game highlights on ESPN FC, with an anchor introducing the clips like it was an episode of Masterpiece Theater. "When we last left Brazil...
Why Do So Many Sportswriters Love Bruce Springsteen?
Hello. My name is Drew, and I think Bruce Springsteen is just OK. I have never bought one of his albums. I have attended one of his concerts (I was shitfaced), but only one. I used to practice singing "Brilliant Disguise" in the shower when I was in high school so that I could serenade a girl wi...
Great Moments In Terrible Summer Jobs
My first summer job was working at a Little Caesar's in Torrington, CT. Here's a quick pro-tip for all you college kids out there who need a way to pay for beer next semester: NEVER take a restaurant job where cheese is highly prevalent. Pizza, Mexican food, some artisanal fondue joint, etc. I had...
Young Astros Fan Gets Foul Ball, Licks It, Gets Slapped
After receiving a foul ball, a young Astros fan ran up to his seat. After showing it off to his family, he licked the baseball, and received a prompt slap in the face from his sister (we think)....
Umpire Takes A Foul Ball To The Chest, Flexes
MLB umpire/country music singer Joe West wasn't nimble enough to avoid Stephen Vogt's foul line drive in Tuesday night's A's-Mets game, so he ended up taking a ball right to the chest. West didn't have the protective equipment of a home-plate umpire, but he was fine....