baltimore Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

320-Lb. White Men Can't Jump
Ravens OT Joe Reitz did the honors last night for a TD celebration goalpost dunk. Or, he tried. Which is sad considering he's played more years of high level basketball than football in his life....

To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Baltimore Celebrates Roger Maris' Long Overdue Second Asterisk
Well lookie what happens when the Baltimore Orioles manage to win a few games in a row: They walk big ceremonial checks out at Camden Yards and make a scene about rewritten baseball history....

Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....

Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....

Luke Scott Injures Himself During Home Run Trot
When a bat breaks while getting a hit, they say "it died a hero." Luke Scott's pulled hamstring, suffered in the act of helping a last place team eke out a win, is just a martyr for a lost cause....

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Weekend Loser: Adam Jones
Orioles centerfielder Adam Jones was wrongly detained by Canadian authorities Thursday night in the first example of Canada's No Criminal Baseball Players Allowed rule, likely because he shares his name with a troublemaking footballer/video game....

Lebron Undergoes Elbow Surgery
Sure, it's an Orioles minor league pitcher named Luis Lebron. But still, could you imagine? (Did you folks forget this little gem?) [Balt Sun]...

Orioles Combat Flagging Interest By...Turning Down Cal Ripken For A Job?
Your team's terrible. Your attendance is worse. What better way to add a little excitement than bringing your franchise's most beloved figure back under the O's umbrella? That's a rhetorical question, unless you're Peter Angelos....

Baltimore Orioles: The Stacked Deck
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....

Donte' Stallworth Signs With Ravens
But 59-year-old Mario Reyes is still dead. Peter King reports....

Budding O's Star Gets Injured In Commercial Shoot. Of Course He Does.
PECOTA's predictions had three different teams winning the AL East, as the formula was revised. The Orioles were not among the three. A story like this, which could only happen to a few teams, is a good reason why....

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

AFC Playoff Open Thread: Flaccos. Mannings. Go.
The Baltimore Ravens were my mid-season Super Bowl pick and I'm sticking to it. Even if they lose. Peyton Manning is out to prove he can go deep in the playoffs without Dungy and his reliable receiver-who-possibly-shot-some-guy. [NFL.com]...

Ravens To Appease Football Gods With Ritual Animal Slaughter
Baltimore will display the lobsters won in a bet with Massachusetts's governor last week, as a warning to the Colts tomorrow. It's better than that time Ray Lewis sacrificed two people, and won the Super Bowl the next year. [AP]...

Ravens Fan Pays For Treason With Mild Electrocution
If you're going to bet against your team, do the world a favor and make sure the wager provides for some excellent physical humor. Like an electric dog fence, for example....

AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Ravens-Patriots
Ravens fans are all getting inked up. Patriots fans are feeling kinda "meh." Team that plays in the suburbs vs. team whose fans live in the suburbs - who ya got? Talk amongst yourselves in the comments....

Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....

Browns Fans Know Understatement
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....