bartolo-colon Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Mets Are Holding Back Matt Harvey To Sell More Tickets
Let's argue about some stupid shit, because c'mon, that's the most fun thing about baseball. And the Mets will never let us down when it comes to providing the stupid shit....
Let's Watch Bartolo Colon Swing Poorly In Slow-Mo
Earlier this season, Bartolo Colon recorded his first hit since 2005. (He now has two on the season!) But in the fourth inning of today's Mets-Pirates game, he wasn't Bartolo the Slugger. He was Bartolo the Whiffer....
Bartolo Colon Hits Double, Scores From Second, Manages Not To Die
This is not a prank. We have obtained footage of Bartolo Colon running. I repeat, this is real. Bartolo Colon ran in an actual baseball game....
Bartolo Colon's Plate Appearances Are Baseball's Gift To All Of Us
We should treasure every time Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon has to take an at-bat. Baseball's giving us a present. Last night's game against the Braves was a special treat, as Colon swung so hard that his helmet flew off of his head. Yes, there's video....
Bartolo Colon Celebrates Strong Start By Jiggling His Belly
Bartolo Colon dominated the Braves last night, shutting them out over seven innings while striking out five. He also did this in the dugout....
Bartolo Colon Is Still A Large-Ass Man
Mets players have arrived for spring training, and pitcher Bartolo Colon hasn't lost any weight, in case you were wondering. His body type could best be described as "out-of-shape dad." Colon's shirt also isn't helping him appear svelte....
Albert Pujols Gets Robbed At The Wall, Tries To Undress Bartolo Colon
In the seventh inning of yesterday's Athletics-Angels game, Albert Pujols sent a Bartolo Colon fastball deep into center field. Unfortunately for Pujols, Chris Young was there to snatch away what very well may have been a home run. That's when Pujols decided that Colon's jersey needed to pay the pri...
Here's Bartolo Colon Taking A Line Drive Off His Face
Bartolo Colon is pitching in the Dominican Republic and took a shot off the face Sunday that left him laying prostrate on the mound. He was able to walk off under is own power, but he was taken to the hospital for further testing. We are still consulting the Colon-o-meter and will update according...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Who Will Tell The Children?
Last season, we learned that a fat guy who throws a baseball was much more than a fat guy who throws a baseball—the pitching performances of Bartolo Colon were nothing less than an ongoing assay of the human condition. One bad start against the Toronto Blue Jays was a sign that we live in a world wi...
Bartolo Colon Tests Positive For Testosterone, Suspended 50 Games
Like his Dominican compatriot Melky Cabrera, who also plays on the west coast and tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games by MLB, Bartolo Colon had recently been playing better than we expected him to. Colon, who pitched for the Yankees last year and Oakland this year, had a ...
Bartolo Colon Is Getting People Out
Have you seen Bartolo Colon pitch? He is worth seeing. Last year, it was amusing to watch the portly ex-Cy Young winner's return to adequacy, in his late 30s, after missing an entire season. It was a funny little joke about the vagaries of sports, or of life....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Roy Hobbs Meets Sisyphus
Things got better on Friday for Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran starter and living parable. Yet things also got no better. Pitted against 28-year-old Angels ace Jered Weaver, the 38-year-old Colon found that his arm was fresh, his control everything he wanted it to be. "I feel like I did at the ...
Here's A Picture Of An Amorous Moment Between A Yankees Starting Pitcher And Backup Catcher
Tipster Spatt sent this photo of happy handed activities in the Yankees dugout last evening, along with the observation, "Apparently Bartolo Colon didn't like the feel of Jesus Montero's balls. Looks like Montero doesn't mind though. Ah, the perks of the Big Leagues."...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Plagued By Indecision
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and embodiment of struggle against the all-consuming void, pitched again on Saturday. Or did he? He came in on a three-game losing streak; the Yankees won; he is still on a three-game losing streak. His line: 6.1 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 7 K, 1 BB, 2 HR....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Conquered By Optimism
How can hope be the enemy of human endeavor? That was the question facing Bartolo Colon Sunday afternoon, as the Yankees pitcher-philosopher took the mound against Zach Britton of the Baltimore Orioles—veteran against rookie, righty against lefty, metaphor for inexorable despair against metaphor for...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: It's A Fine Line Between Failure And Non-Failure
What did Bartolo Colon teach us about our place in the universe last night? Special philosophical correspondent David Roher was at the ballpark to witness the veteran Yankee's performance against Oakland, as Colon fell behind the A's 5-0—with two of the runs scoring after he'd left the game, on a do...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...