baseball Page 347 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dancing Kid Absolutely Kills "Thriller" At Mariners Game
One day, many centuries from now and possibly never, the world will have had enough of the "Thriller" renditions, and they will cease to delight us all. Today is not that day. There's a good chance that this particular take, which was shot during a game at Safeco Field last week, was a Mariners PR...

The Downfall Of Barry Halper, Baseball Collecting's Bernie Madoff (UPATE)
Read the full story here....

Someone Hit A Human Home Run Last Night
Your morning roundup for July 6, the day controversial sports site Deadspin.com was mentioned in non-controversial newspaper Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer. (Video via Eagle-Tribune, ESPN)...

The Refs Clearly Aren't Watching The Women's World Cup Either
Your morning roundup for July 4, the day we added needed precision to our dog shit inspections....

South Carolina Athletic Director Welcomes Back Champion Team Of "Ice Cold Cocks"
The University of South Carolina held its second straight welcome home rally for its national champion baseball team on Wednesday. Everyone cheered and said nice things about the Gamecocks, and then it was Athletic Director Eric Hyman's turn to speak. Hyman said some more nice things, and then he ...

The Amarillo Sox Did Not Expect Their New Mascot To Have A Huge Erection
The Amarillo Sox Sock is dead. Long live the Amarillo Sox Sock....

Wily Mo Pena Spits A Loogie Into His Helmet, Hits Two-Run Walkoff
Via Awful Announcing, here's Baseball MLB Tonight's involved slo-mo breakdown of Willy Mo Pena's pre-game-winning-homerun ritual: he sends a gob of spit and possibly other substances in his helmet, and then he wears the helmet. Babe might be proud. Babe also might be kind of grossed out....

The Florida Catcher Who Nearly Threw A Ball Through A Pitcher's Neck Is Breaking Aluminum Bats Now
Woe be any major-league baseball team that doesn't give University of Florida catcher Mike Zunino a shot at the bigs. In May, he nearly beheaded pitcher Brian Johnson with a throw to second base in the conference semifinals. In yesterday's win over Vanderbilt, which clinched a spot in the College ...

The Phillie Phanatic Takes A Foul Ball To The Face
The giant fuzzy sex fiend got a ball just under the snout (proboscis?) at a minor league game last night. He (or the human inside) went to the emergency room, and was treated for a contusion and released. He won't miss any time, and will return to the usual boring mascot hazard of being pummeled i...

Red Sox Fan Catches Foul Ball With $7 Light Beer, Still Finishes Beer
If you paid that much for a Bud Light, you'd drink it, too....

Breaking: Bryce Harper Does Something That's Pretty Cool And Won't Offend Anyone
The Chosen One evidently has a habit for sneak-attack leap-frogging his teammates. Those contact lenses are committing a double miracle: a career turnaround, and actual, on-the-record inoffensive behavior. Praise Harper!...

Minor League Team Hands Out LeBron Championship Rings, And Yes, They're Non-Existent
You know you done goofed when they're making fun of you in Peoria. The Cubs single-A affiliate was planning on honoring the 1990s Chicago Bulls teams on Thursday night, but they decided on an additional giveaway....

Premature Jocularity At Home Plate Costs Would-Be Winners State
One young man thought he was coming home with the winning run in extra innings of a Connecticut State Championship. In his rush to celebrate, he missed touching home. His team would go on to lose....

Milwaukee's Nyjer Morgan Provides The Post-Game Interview Of The Season
Nyjer Morgan, the most glorious weirdo in Major League Baseball, put the Mets away with a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee last night. In his post-game interview with Fox Sports Wisconsin, Prince Fielder provided Morgan with a Gatorade bath, which this time around consisted ...

If You Aren't Related To A Major Leaguer, Or If You Can Walk, You Probably Weren't Drafted
The MLB draft is long. Like, super super long with about a million players getting picked. It's a crapshoot the deeper you go, so teams just pick players that will make a quick headline (like the Cubs drafting a fat kid). What better way to do that than pick a player whose name fans already know?...

Trent Boras Will Probably Be The Most Disappointing Major Leaguer Of Scott Boras's Career
Major League Baseball is merciful enough to not force its annual three-day draft onto us in the form of a television package deal with weeping grandmothers and incarcerated fathers. For that, we are grateful. But we'll admit that it would have made for great television to see Scott Boras react to Bu...

Listen To A Student Announcer Lose His Shit, Also His Voice
On Monday, Devon Rodriguez singled to right field with Cal down 8-7 in the bottom of the ninth with two outs and the bases loaded, and with his hit, the Golden Bears beat Baylor. It was a realization of the moment that every kid dreams of and narrates to himself on the neighborhood's playground di...

Of Course Former MLB 1B Ben Broussard Is Somehow Connected To The Weiner Scandal
It wouldn't be a very good political scandal without a tenuous connection to a retired platoon player, now would it?...

Ronnie Woo Woo Gives Up On The Cubs, Wants Paul McCartney Tickets Instead
Our tipster Steven works for a ticket company out of Chicago, and wrote in to tell us that he'd had beloved Cubs fan Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers in the office today. He even attached a photo: "Woo_Woo_Office_Visit.jpg." Ronnie was wearing his Cubs uniform, which is no surprise; what is is that one of t...

Kansas City Man Becomes Ballpark Hero With Popcorn Bucket Catch
No child to navigate, just some stray kernels, but still: This catch was crazier than Melrose Place....