baseball Page 439 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A-Rod's Story Of A Sensitive Boy
We mentioned this when the deal was originally announced, and now, today, the day has finally arrived: Alex Rodriguez's children's book has hit the stands. "Out Of The Ballpark" is the story of a second baseman named Alex who makes an error and — get this — begins to play worse because he's putting ...
Cole Hamels Likes The Scrawny Reality TV Stars
For those of you who watch "Survivor," you might remember Heidi Strobel, a woman who, after three weeks on an island with little food, proved herself to be 85 percent breasts....
Prepare Thyself For Dice K
Red Sox fans, take heart: You can now see Dice K himself, Daisuke Matsuzaka, pitching in a Red Sox uniform, kind of. In this ad for Asahi beer — we love that people can physically drink the beer in Japanese commercials — Dice K dons the duds and even throws a pitch, albeit with some less-than-convin...
He Was For DirectTV Before He Was ... Oh, You Know The Joke By Now
We had pretty much already given up hope on anyone noticing or caring that Major League Baseball was selling out its most die-hard fans for a quick buck. Just another of those times when we all get stepped on; as sports fans, we should probably be used to it by now....
Bonds Contract: Baseball's Version Of A Constitutional Crisis?
So someone took the time to actually read the contract that Barry Bonds signed with the Giants on Monday, and they made a startling discovery. According to the fine print, Bonds not only must play both ends of any doubleheaders, he must dress as Paula Abdul in the second game. Also, there's this:...
An Entirely Different Kind Of Monkey Suit
Sorry, ladies of Boston: Your hopes of bedding the youngest GM in baseball history, the man partly responsible for the Red Sox World Championship and one rockin' guitar hero are over. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein went out and got himself secretly married last month....
Forever Barry
He's 43, kind of a dick and subject to a variety of ailments, including, if you believe the horse steroids charges, laminitis. But nonetheless, Barry Bonds is officially back in the fold with the San Francisco Giants, ready to tackle Mt. Aaron once again. Whew. We were on pins and needles....
Albert Belle, Still Available
It's official, folks, if you can handle it: Sammy Sosa and the Texas Rangers have agreed on a deal. Sosa will receive $500,000 on a one-year contract and will be invited to make the team out of Spring Training. It's good to see that the new Rangers manager Ron Washington is attempting to be realisti...
He's Probably Been Waiting Outside The Studio For Weeks
We had a few people email us yesterday, mostly saying a variation on the following: "So I'm home with the flu, and it's possible that I'm just hallucinating, but I think I just saw A.J. Pierzynski as a bouncer on the 'Jerry Springer Show.' Can that be possible?"...
This One's For The Cranks and Birds
Conan O'Brien, on top of his game ... and a little bit of baseball history for you, too. Pitchers and catchers report in 18 days....
MLB.com Knows Who Its True Fans Are
Far be it from us to tell MLB.com how to maximize its revenue streams — certainly they're doing a fine enough job on that themselves, hardcore baseball fans be damned — but we found it rather surprising, all told, about this newest synergistic connection....
That's All We Need: ANOTHER Blowhard In DC
So here's a scary thought. If you thought Curt Schilling had a tendency to opine, uninvited, on subjects that don't inherently concern him now, wait until he runs for Senate....
In Case You Had Any Doubt, MLB Doesn't Care About You At All
We are not against corporations, inherently; we spend most of our days enjoying products of the Coca-Cola Company and the Philip Morris Corporation, and if they do an excellent job mass-producing consumables that we keep on buying, hey, that's the American way. But as a serious sports fan, there mig...
Bonds And The Giants Just Can't Quit Each Other
Yesterday, Barry Bonds did nobody any favors by endorsing Pete Rose and Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame, inspiring each of them to put their paws over their face like a goldendoodle puppy. But the bigger news might be that the Giants are considering voiding Bonds' contract after the news of his po...
Marcus Giles Already Tearing Up San Diego
Marcus Giles has been a member of the San Diego Padres for less than a month; they just got the guy, for crying out loud. You thought it was a nice story, two brothers reunited — and it feels so gooood — but it turns out that it was a recipe for violence!...
Man, We Totally Forgot They Were Razing Yankee Stadium
Buster Olney — whom, though we occasionally make fun of him, does pretty solid work over there — reported this morning that Yankee Stadium will host the All-Star Game in 2008, the final year before the historic-mostly-as-a-70s-relic stadium shuffles off this architectural coil. (Incidentally, our ou...
Student Reporter Gets First Boring McGwire Quotes
So everybody wants to hear from Mark McGwire, the slugger-in-exile. What does he think about the Hall of Fame voting? Did he ever do steroids? What was the deal with appearing on "Mad About You?" No one has been able to get him to come out of hiding ... except for abused children, anyway. McGwire sh...
Sammy Sosa Is Too Fat For Japan
Wednesday, we told you about how a Japanese team was close to signing Sammy Sosa, forcing him to pretend not to be able to speak Japanese. Well, it turns out that the Japanese have had a change of heart, thanks mostly to trans fatty acids....
Your 2007 Los Angeles Dodgers: Taste The Excitement
The Dodgers on Thursday threw up a smoke screen to hide a rise in ticket prices, and it's a pretty effective one. A ticket in the right-field bleachers has gone up four bucks, to $10, but with that you get all the Dodger Dogs you can eat. Eric Gagne for an endless supply of weiners? Sounds fair to u...