baseball Page 486 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just A Bunch Of Nerds, Debating Nerdom
We're big fans of Fire Joe Morgan's weekly deconstructions of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan's chats on ESPN.com — even if the chats of late, in the words of Fire Joe Morgan itself, have had "entirely un-Morgan-like reason and coherence" — and, to have some fun themselves, the folks at St. Louis Cardinals ...
Could Bonds Be The New Karl Rove?
We'd never thought about this before — mainly because politics scares and confuses us — but in a weird way, this kind of makes perfect sense: Barry Bonds is the Karl Rove of sports. Think about it. Bonds sticks to his guns no matter how ridiculous his position; he says he's going to do something, ...
And So It Begins ...
Prepare for the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments: The Yankees have passed the Red Sox in the American League East. With only 11 games left to go — and an ominous three-game set at Fenway to end the season — we have yet another chapter of Yankees-Red Sox drama. Please do not accuse of East...
We're Assuming Lou Pinella Stayed Home
What happens when you put actor Charlie Sheen, professional assbag Rob Dibble and a plethora of porn stars in a room together? Oh, did we mention the year was 1990? You can probably guess: It's a Big Red Orgy! According to Dibble in FHM magazine, notorious baseball fan Sheen "entertained" that Red...
A-Rod Takes His Swings
So far, we've revealed that Cubs 2B Todd Walker is a strip club hound and that Braves closer Kyle Farnsworth likes him some booze. For the final of the three On the DL items revealed this week, we unveil the biggest name yet. First, the item:...
Ryan Church, Theologian
Because we love baseball so much, we sometimes forget that the average athlete often lacks some basic education on fundamental issues. Take Ryan Church, Washington Nationals outfielder. As reported by The Washington Post — that is to say, he told this to a reporter — Church went to his team's chap...
Barry Bonds Ain't Got Nothin' To Lose
Barry Bonds is amazing. Just a couple of days ago, he said he planned on losing a little bit of weight in the offseason, which is kind of like Courtney Love saying, "hey, my behavior is going to be a little erratic in the next few months, but it has NOTHING to do with cocaine. So you know." And no...
Bronson Arroyo: Now Officially A Rock Star
We were going to reveal the final of our three blind items today, but those crazy ladies at On The DL have something even better for today, so we're gonna hold off. They've put together a compendium of photos online of baseball players boozing and tarting it up with various "fans" across the count...
Congress Leaves No Steroid Unturned
Hey, here's something: Congress is looking into whether or not Orioles mustache rider Rafael Palmeiro lied to them back in March. To remind you how that went:...
On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...
Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
On The DL: Athletes Unmasked!
So we've been talking for the last couple of days to the people at On The DL, the blind item sports gossip site that claims to have inside info on the cheating ways of countless Major League Baseball players. We initially had some doubts about their verisimilitude, and even though we still advise ...
LaRussa: No Celebration For You!
Last night, the St. Louis Cardinals became the first team to win their division with a 6-1 victory over the rival Chicago Cubs. It is the Cardinals' second consecutive NL Central title, and their fifth in the last six years. After a long, grinding season, one would expect the Cardinals to break ou...
Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant
OK, this was so ridiculous that we have spent the last hour checking it out, lest we be the target of some elaborate ruse. But it appears to be legit: Former human chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing a weekly investment column for TheStreet.com. No, really. Seriously. Lenny Dykstra — or, more likely, his ...
Groupies Cause Battery Feud
Some great fun from the is-it-fictional-or-not-who-cares? groupie blind item On the DL this morning. Here's today's highlight:...
McGwire Returns To Site Of Much Needle Poking
Apparently, Mark McGwire is finally available to talk about the past. In one of his very few public appearances since his retirement — we count that testimony before Congress, Jack Buck's funeral and a bunch of golf tournaments — the once-beloved-now-embattled slugger will attend the final weekend...
Calling Mom For Domestic Backup
Some more updates on the domestic abuse allegations against notoriously angry Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley. The Daily Breeze reviewed the 911 calls that started the whole allegations, and apparently, it was in fact Bradley who made the calls in order to calm down his "crazy" wife....
The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...
We Hope You Like Joe Morgan
Bad news for those who are driven to murderous rage by the voice of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan: ESPN and Major League Baseball have extended their broacast agreement through 2013. Sunday Night Baseball with Morgan and Jon "Hey, Don't Look At Me, I Don't Know What The Hell He's Talking About Either" M...