bears Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let The Burning Of The Jay Cutler Jerseys Begin
Coming off their bye week, Jay Cutler and the 3-5 Bears had plenty of time to prepare for the Green Bay Packers last night, plenty of time to patch up whatever problems gave way to a 51-23 loss to New England in Week 7. Last night's game presented a rested Bears team with some hope at getting a big ...
The Bears Can't Even Punt Properly
Punting is when YOU kick the ball to the OPPONENT. Not "let the opponent kick the ball."...
Baylor Wins In Norman For The First Time As Sooners Fans Lament
Baylor kicked the unholy dogshit out of Oklahoma today, a turn of affairs that many Sooners fans, raised to believe in lasting hierarchies of college football, simply cannot countenance. And how can you blame them? For generations, the people of the allegedly great state of Oklahoma have relied on...
"He Reeked Of Jim Beam And Slim Jims": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Yesterday we posted Andy Richter's telling of Mike Ditka doing "one of the most senselessly arrogant & aggressive things" he'd ever witnessed. It seems that nearly everybody that has ever stepped foot in Chicago has a Mike Ditka story, usually involving cigars, booze, or both. Below are some of ...
Mike Ditka Apparently Doesn't Give A Fuck Where He Leaves His Cigars
Conan O'Brien sidekick Andy Richter took to Twitter late Wednesday night to tell a pretty funny story about Mike Ditka. ...
Watch Action Bronson Have An Extremely Awkward Meal With Mike Ditka
Queens rapper Action Bronson is pretty great, in part because he once called himself "The Young Randy Velarde" on a track, and in part because he hosts a food show on the internet that is called Fuck, That's Delicious. The most recent episode of the show brought Bronson into contact with shitty old ...
Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine
This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him th...
Memphis Grizzlies Honor Baby In Bear Suit At Halfcourt
During a timeout in the Memphis Grizzlies' opener last night, mascot Grizz brought a baby to halfcourt while The Lion King's "Circle of Life" played. Now "Circle of Life" is playing in your head as you read this....
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....
Grizzly Bear Steals One Of Those Cameras You Strap To Your Head
Some guy put one of those dumb cameras that people are always strapping to their heads on a bridge in an effort to scope out some bears. Some bears did indeed get scoped, but one of them got the last laugh when he snatched the little camera and took off with it....
Obedient Black Bear Doesn't Want Any Trouble, Man. OK? It's All Good.
Hey, hey, hey, take it easy, chief. Nobody here wants any kind of problem, all right? Everything's cool. Just be cool....
Report: Brandon Marshall Called Out Jay Cutler In Bears' Locker Room
After a loss to an underwhelming Dolphins team, the 3-4 Bears had it out in a closed locker room—yelling, shoving, everyone right on down to the kicker getting blasted in turn. But as far as postgame meltdowns go, this has the potential to be one of the more constructive ones: behind Brandon Marshal...
Bears Lose At Home; Postgame Locker Room "Ugly Scene"
The Bears lost to the Dolphins today, and they're now 0-3 at home. Both sides of the Bears sucked: Miami had 393 yards to Chicago's 224. After the game, the Bears' locker room reportedly devolved into a lot of shouting. Here are the details so far:...
Baylor Loses To West Virginia And Penalty Flags
The fourth-ranked Baylor Bears will experience a tumble down the rankings after losing in Morgantown to the West Virginia Mountaineers. The Bears will be shooting up the national penalty rankings, though....
Ike Nwamu Skies Over A Dude, Puts Ball Between His Legs, Slams It
No big deal, just Mercer's Ike Nwamu doing what he does best, bouncing off the floor like Flubber and uncorking a ridiculous dunk during Mercer Madness. We're pretty sure he has more where this came from....
Baylor Has Touchdown Called Back, Then Restored, On Targeting Foul
The second offensive targeting ejection of the day came on a massive play for Baylor, locked into a tough fight in Morgantown. This call negated a Bears touchdown and resulted in the ejection of Baylor's Corey Coleman—but after video review, the hit was declared legal and the touchdown put back on...
This Wild-Ass Blocked Extra Point Will Make You Shit Your Dick
We admit that Deadspin occasionally dips into the pool of hyperbole, but take our word for it that this lateral-filled blocked extra point from Saturday's Sacramento State-Northern Colorado game will make you shit your dick....
Baylor Beats TCU, With A Little Help From The Officials
A lengthy and mostly defense-free 61-58 battle between TCU and Baylor today ended with a Bears field goal that was set up by a pass interference call against the Horned Frogs. Was it a deserved flag? Maybe, but moments earlier TCU turned the ball over after a fourth-down play that ended in an awfu...
Genius Bear Is Too Smart And Strong For Bullshit-Ass Electric-Deer Gag
Some scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and thoroughly torn...
Oh, Were You Looking For Alshon Jeffery?
Because he went the other way, sucka. Pretty play, and this game has had a few of them. Bears/Packers might be your best option right now, if you have access. Bears lead, 17-14....