bears Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chicago Has Pretty Much Completely Turned On Jay Cutler
It's bad; they've taken to calling him "Jay McNown." But the beleaguered QB finds an unlikely defender in the father of former Bears washout Rex Grossman. Dan Grossman's endorsement floated 50 yards and was intercepted by Brian Griese. [Chicago Tribune]...

Steeler Fan Says Bears Fans Blinded Him With Roofies
They say that you should never take a drink from stranger that you didn't see poured yourself. That goes double for Steeler fans hanging out in Chicago bars, after one poor bloke says he was poisoned by local Ditka worshipers....

Jahvid Best In Surprisingly Good Shape (i.e. Alive, Moving)
Someone recently wrote (I can't for the life of me remember who) that there's nothing quite like the sound of an entire stadium sure they just watched someone die....

Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....

Begun, The Hockey Playing Ice Bear War Has
A Russian circus manager was mauled to death by a bear wearing hockey skates. First, Anchorage, then Fairbanks, now Kyrgyzstan? The angry sports bears are officially out to get us. This won't end well for humanity. [BBC]...

Why Do Bears Hate Alaskan Sports Facilities?
For the second time this month, we've received shocking footage of a bloodthirsty sports bear laying waste to a major Alaskan city. Is it really necessary to level Fairbanks with a pickaxe to just pump up a crowd?...

Baylor Beer Burglar Baffles BBQ Bozos
Baylor lost to UConn this weekend—yes, football—but the campus isn't really concerned about the Bears' gridiron woes. They'd much rather talk about a girl who might have stolen beer out of some frat guy's cooler while tailgating....

Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...

Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....

Bears Begin The Season With Five-Yard Penalty
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bad News Bears: Doc Has Newark's Fix
Doc Gooden has landed in Newark (and no, not to score blow). As the Newark Bears' new Senior VP/community ambassador, he'll be mentoring area kids, presumably on how not to wind up like Doc Gooden....

Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...

They're Not Saying "Boo!" They're Saying "I Hope You Die In A House Fire, You Pansy"
Jay Cutler returned to Denver last night for the first time since his temper tantrum-induced trade and did moderately well for a first half. A Neckbeard-less Kyle Orton also suffered a sewing injury on his index finger. [DenverPost]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

10-Year-Old Hero Closes Door On Jay Cutler Era
Ah, the wisdom of children! It was bad enough when Cutler whined and cried his way to a trade to Chicago, but he crossed another line this week by proclaiming Denver fans to be less than passionate boosters....

Broncos Fans Are Thrilled About The Bears New Quarterback
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Thin Line Between Fan and Fanatic
Let's say you love the Chicago Bears. (Relax....it's just an example.) And let's say you don't mind having a few dozen tattoos on your body. That doesn't logically follow that you need 92 Bears autographs permanently inked in your skin....

The Rehabilitation Of Jim Leyritz Continues Apace, One Minor League Promotion At A Time
Get out your autograph books, kids — it's Legends Sunday at the Newark Bears' ballpark, and guess who'll be there! Why, none other than Jim "Jimmy" Leyritz, the legend on trial for vehicular manslaughter!...

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...