bears Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
NFL Pants Party: NFC North
We do the riverdance, a manly dance, through the NFC North, land of paternity suits, custody issues, nude assistant coaches, Brett Favre and, of course, sex boats....
NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
It's Never Too Early For College Hoops (OK, Maybe A Little)
So we know that college basketball is months away, and we're not even to football yet, and you all have better, more pressing things to worry about. But nevertheless, we love college basketball, so we're excited to point you to College Hoops.net's already-begun preview of the upcoming season....
Minor Enterprise: Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where we preview, and occasionally review, the great events of minor league baseball. Each Wednesday we'll take a look at the promotions, players and mascots which populate our minor league ballparks; the unsung heroes of our national pastime. (Minor Enterprise not res...
Cycling, Swimming And Running, Oh My!
You know, it's hard enough to finish a triathlon. We think we could handle the biking, and as long as we were allowed to occasionally walk, or even stop and lie down for a while, we could handle the running. We'd almost certainly drown, however. Anyway, imagine going through all the trouble of bei...
Brian Urlacher's "Domestic" Woes
You know, people keep telling us about this Brian Urlacher custody trial business in Chicago, and it just makes us uncomfortable. Like many football fans, we like to think of Urlacher as an old-school, square-jawed bruiser cut from the Butkus mold. So when we start reading stuff like this —...
Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...
Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...
Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....
NCAA Pants Party: California Vs. N.C. State
California Golden Bears (20-10) vs. North Carolina State Wolfpack (21-9) When: Friday, 7:20 p.m. Where: Dallas....
Missouri State Bears
1. This Is The Best Missouri State Team In History. This is sort of like saying that my pet snake is my best friend even though he's my only friend, but still. The school changed its name from Southwest Missouri State following last year s centennial celebration. So technically this is the best team...
California Golden Bears
1. Powe Just Turned 22, Wondering What to Do. Power forward Leon Powe, en route to leading the Pac-10 in scoring and rebounding, often looked like a man among boys. That's because, as a mere sophomore, he's 22 years old, something he accomplished without a Mormon mission. At that age, most Cal fans ...
Revisiting A Truly Great Prank
We did a very brief bit on this a couple of days ago, but we didn't give it nearly enough of a heads-up, since, frankly, it's one of the best examples of fan subterfuge we've ever seen....
NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...
Panthers vs. Bears - 4th Quarter
• Fullback Jason McKie gets the Bears into the endzone to make it a 2-point game. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be able to hold a candle to the earlier game, but it's been outstanding. The Bears are going to need to come up with a stop, though....
Panthers vs. Bears - 3rd Quarter
• If the Bears want to win, two things have to happen. 1) Rex Grossman has to remain competent, and 2) the defense has got to make some adjustments. Giving up 290 yards in a half isn't going to cut it....
Panthers vs. Bears - 2nd Quarter
• John Kasay converts, and makes it 10-0 Carolina. I know it's early, but the Bears are not the Colts. 10 points is a huge hole for them....
Panthers vs. Bears - 1st Quarter
• Well, that didn't take long. Steve Smith gets loose in the secondary and the Panthers are on the board. It's 7-0 before a minute is gone....