berman Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Shanoff's Yearly Christmas Tome
Continuing a Christmas tradition on Deadspin (and, before that, other fine holiday establishments), Dan Shanoff presents a special holiday poem, dedicated to the many reindeer who pull the Deadspin sleigh — usually drunk, stoned or otherwise on crack. Happy holidays!...

Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...

ESPN Anchors Feel The Burn
You know, we always imagined that Richard Simmons just hung out in Bristol all the time, sort of an unofficial mascot. We imagine him fetching Nachos for Van Pelt and really getting on Trey Wingo's nerves....

Dunkin' Berman
I wrote for my college newspaper, and yesterday I got to flex my rarely-used reporterly muscles when I spotted this ad outside a Dunkin' Donuts by my house....

Trying To Track The Exact Moment When ESPN Imploded
You shouldn't feel bad if you remember when it was kind of cool to watch ESPN; we recall it vividly ourselves. (We will confess to once quoting Kenny Mayne in our daily life. Hey, we were young.) Another guy who used to love the Leader is Grant Farred, who wrote a famous academic paper in 2000 prais...

Shelley Duncan Needs A Nickname
It happens all too often in sports; a youngster bursts onto the scene with a noteworthy accomplishment so quickly that even our best broadcasters and journalists have not had time to supply him with a ridiculous, hackneyed nickname, or overreaching home run call. From the New York Daily News:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while welcoming your new flea overlords • MLB: Vlad Guerrero wins home run derby, although all the baseballs remained as dry as your grandpappy's scalp. • Cycling: After his win in second stage of Tour de France, there will be a rush of parents naming their babies Gert. • Soccer: Méx...

Prepare For The Brain Explosion That Is The Home Run Derby
We know we got yelled at just this morning for recycling — consider the "Year Ago In Deadspin" feature toast — but it's Home Run Derby, and that means just one thing: It's the day Chris Berman lives for, and the day the rest of us pray for a quick, merciful death. (Last year, we actually watched si...


Chris Berman Wants The Kids To Learn From The Master
A reader, whom we suspect represents a large swath of the Deadspin demographic, wrote us this morning:...

In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....

Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...

When Berman Got His "American Gladiators" On
So back in 1993, a would-be "reality" television show called "Conquer Fort Boyard" aired its pilot on ABC. It appears to be a half-"Survivor," half-"American Gladiators" type show, with a bunch of people jumping and climbing things....

Keith Olbermann Now Vital Seventh Cog In NBC Pregame Team
We like MSNBC/ESPN Radio/NBC/whatever talking head Keith Olbermann, and not just because his presence reminds us of those halcyon days of yesteryear when we actually felt cool for watching "SportsCenter." (God, that seems so strange now.)...

That's Not Quite What Pete Said, Actually
With all the hullabaloo around Pete Rose's "admission" yesterday that he "bet on the Reds every night" — a story so overblown that even Katie Couric was talking about it, chatting with beer pong specialist Armen Keteyian — Keith Olbermann, who did the Rose interview along with Dan Patrick on ESPN Ra...

Berman: It Is Useless To Resist
Via Sports by Brooks comes further proof that, although nature and common sense would seem to dictate otherwise, our nation's women are helpless before the visage of Berman. We sincerely believe that he can point at a woman any time he wishes — like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian — and she ...

Chris Berman Will Touch Your Heart And Soul
Far be it from us to make fun of a guy for getting the backrub treatment from his hometown newspaper — it's the one place you're guaranteed good press — but we couldn't help but smile when came across Chris Berman, motivational speaker....

Chris Berman Isn't Here To Talk About The Past
Clay Travis, one of the bright spots over at CBS Sportsline, once opined about the daily hell that "You're With Me, Leather" could potentially put Chris Berman through, but as far as we knew, no one had ever actually asked him about it in a public forum. That is, until this weekend, at the Pebble Be...

Jesus, Does He Have A Shirt That ISN'T Hawaiian?
This picture isn't particularly salacious, or telling, or anything else, but a commenter applicant sent it to us, and any time we've got Michael Irvin and a bloated, sweaty Berman surrounded by women, well, we're contractually obligated to run it. We gotta start reading the fine print....