bo Page 1005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while your JetBlue flight was circling LAX for three hours ... • MLB: Yankees fail in determined attempt to choke, go game up on Red Sox. • MLB: Willis bats seventh, earns pitching victory. Those wacky Marlins. • Presidents Cup Golf: Tiger Woods does not play well with others....

Sorry. We're Not Done With Mitch Albom Yet
Even though we wrote about it recently, we still can't stop thinking about that time Mitch Albom made up a bunch of stuff and turned it in as a column. Like, we're still supposed to read him after that....

Ladies Help Manny Be Manny
More great Webshots searching by On the DL today: The above picture is of Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez partying it up with a bunch of ladies he met at a bar earlier that night. (He appears to be teaching them how to "dance.")...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Michael Smith: Wait, my bad, I thought you were Michael David Smith, from Football Outsiders. You know, the interesting one. You must get that a lot. • Noon. NCAA FB with Joe Schad: Covering the Dolphins for the Orland...

Could Bonds Be The New Karl Rove?
We'd never thought about this before — mainly because politics scares and confuses us — but in a weird way, this kind of makes perfect sense: Barry Bonds is the Karl Rove of sports. Think about it. Bonds sticks to his guns no matter how ridiculous his position; he says he's going to do something, ...

And So It Begins ...
Prepare for the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments: The Yankees have passed the Red Sox in the American League East. With only 11 games left to go — and an ominous three-game set at Fenway to end the season — we have yet another chapter of Yankees-Red Sox drama. Please do not accuse of East...

About Last Night ...
You entered Harrah's Reno at noon and security deposited you outside on the lawn sometime around 3 a.m. Here's what you missed ... • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles to pry first place from Boston's withered, dead hands. • MLB: Bonds homers again in frenzied race against the arrival of that congressional s...

Barry Bonds Ain't Got Nothin' To Lose
Barry Bonds is amazing. Just a couple of days ago, he said he planned on losing a little bit of weight in the offseason, which is kind of like Courtney Love saying, "hey, my behavior is going to be a little erratic in the next few months, but it has NOTHING to do with cocaine. So you know." And no...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a giant peanut out of thousands of regular peanuts ... • Monarchs win WNBA title! Whoa, calm down people of Sacramento! (Sound of crickets). • MLB: Ladies and gentlemen, your division-leading San Diego Padres. • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles, remain a half-game back in que...

Made A Mistake? Hey ... We'll Help With Katrina!
NASCAR just announced that the helmet racer Robby Gordon threw at Michael Waltrip's car last weekend — apparently Waltrip crashed his car or something — will be auctioned off to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. Of all the self-involved attempts by athlete to pump up the Q rating by pretending...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as all your friends are our rocking, and, sadly, you realize that you are not... • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. "Aaron Small, Big Stein is counting on you. Costanza! Where's my calzone?" [YES Network] • MLB: Red Sox at Devil Rays. Boston a half-game ahead of Yankees — time for Schilling to...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Mitch Albom
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, your local sports columnist is like Larry of the Three Stooges: You don't really need him, but it wouldn't be the same without him. We always vow to use our powers for good, so we part the newsprint curtain each Tuesday and examines a different lousy local columnist. ...

Bronson Arroyo: Now Officially A Rock Star
We were going to reveal the final of our three blind items today, but those crazy ladies at On The DL have something even better for today, so we're gonna hold off. They've put together a compendium of photos online of baseball players boozing and tarting it up with various "fans" across the count...

About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...

Leftovers: Don't Mess With Texas
• Texans fire offensive coordinator Chris Palmer. Yeah, that'll turn the tide.* [KSPN • K State RB Thomas Clayton knocks over a couple of guys and speeds to daylight — in a car. [Tony's Kansas City] • Ronaldinho selected world player of the year. There'll be dancing in the streets of Rio tonight! Um...

Barry Bonds' Blogroll
Sometimes we think we could play around on Barry Bonds' Web site all day. Unlike many athletes' who have their own sites, Bonds actually seems to put some time into his, mainly because it's the only way he can talk to his "fans" without the evil frothing media standing in the way. Well, digging a...

On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...

The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...