bo Page 1015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
Well, once again you've thrown a boot at the TV and pointed the remote at the cat ... • MLB: Pedro, Mets lose again, consider reality series. • MLB: Ortiz, you stud! Red Sox shock Angels. • Talk about steroids, ever take a close look at Kim Clijsters? Er, we mean, Venus ousted in U.S. Open semis....

Suddenly Charitable Bonds Could Return Tonight
We were all set to make fun of Barry Bonds today. ESPN's Pedro Gomez, who has pretty much been sitting outside Bonds' house and sifting through his garbage for months now, finally got the scoop he was waiting for by reporting that Bonds could return from the DL today. We were going to mock Bonds' ...

About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...

Red Sox Dial Down Arroyo
After some legitimate complaints about his off-field pursuits, Red Sox pitcher/archaic grunge rocker Bronson Arroyo might be the most important pitcher the team has right now. So apparently the Red Sox themselves have tired of all the rocking, asking him to cut down on the music until, you know, w...

About Last Night ...
Why am I on the floor, surrounded by empty malt liquor cans? And why am I dressed as a bullfighter? Will someone please bring me up to speed? ... • Spurrier wins his debut as a Gamecocksman. • Aging pitcher Tony Danza gets the win as Angels somehow pull even with A's. • We don't want another Oswalt!...

The Oldest Batboy in Captivity
Tonight that Marlins batboy kid who was suspended for six games for throwing up milk will be on the "Late Show With David Letterman," his first public appearance and interview. As more news comes out about Nick Cirillo, this story becomes a little stranger. The biggest thing? This "kid" is not a k...

Barry Bonds: At The Movies!
In case you've forgotten, we here at Deadspin have made a solemn vow to get our Barry Bonds news exclusively from BarryBonds.com, just the way Barry would like it. (Because we're true fans. And we hate the white media. And we really want us to give us a "Shout Out" sometime.)...

The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....

Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while chasing ghosts with your three friends and a large Great Dane ... • MLB: A's win seventh straight, set stage for disappointing their fans once again in playoffs. • Roddick ousted in U.S. Open despite good looks. • WNBA Playoffs: Indiana Fever beat New York Liberty. Honestly, we...

Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...

Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Having Nightmares About That "Ranch Tooth" In The Wendy's Commercial ... · Yankees Secure Three-Way Wildcard Tie With Cleveland And Oakland. Somewhere, Woody Allen, Drew Carey and Hammer are in a furious battle. · Cardinals Knock Magic Number Down To 26. Tony LaRussa celebrates...

Clemens Survives ... For Now
Well, it's 5:30, and no announcement from Selig and company about steroids suspensions as has been widely rumored. We're keeping an eye out, but, of course, we'll just ask Michael Kay about it, if we have to....

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...

Costas Takes A Seat Against BTK (Wait, He's Standing? Oh.)
We've always found broadcaster Bob Costas to be an insufferable prig, as well as a guy who almost certainly pees sitting down. News came out last week that Costas turned down guest hosting "Larry King Live" because it was supposed to feature a segment on BTK killer Dennis Rader. Costas said he di...