bo Page 758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before An NFL Team's Financials Are Leaked
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan
Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well....

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Clint Dempsey Bangs One In With A Flying Side Volley
You know what's hard to do? This. Clint Dempsey has never embraced the workmanlike Yankee style that many American players appear to have stuck in their chromosomes. The man takes risks. He's good at it. It's why he's good....

Roger Goodell Is Going To Be A Big Baby About This Lockout Until The Very End
Yesterday we brought you the gripping tales of players showing up to training facilities, only to find nothing going on and heading home. But at least one team grew a pair for a few hours: the Giants not only let DT Chris Canty into the complex to work in the weight room, but he met with Tom Coughli...

Dear Roger Goodell: This Is What A Typical NFL Career Looks Like
Roger Goodell recently took to the pulpit to debunk the popularly held notion that an NFL player's career lasts 3.5 years. The truth, Roger says, is that if you make an opening day roster as a rookie, your career will last almost six years; if you get drafted in the first round, it's nine years; and...

Here's What Confused NFL Players Are Doing This Morning
Showing up to work out, some of them. Except not really working out. And the ones that arrived are either union guys checking the lay of the land, or players openly concerned about their workout bonuses. Mostly, players walked in, hung around for a couple of minutes then went home. Everyone's pretty...

Dumbest Fish Alive Deserve To Be Dead
This is four-and-a-half minutes of silver carp leaping, unprovoked, into a boat. It serves as a fascinating video treatise on natural selection, and possible sport fishing....

The NFL Lockout Is Over, At Least For A Few More Minutes
A federal judge has granted the players an injunction against the league, effectively ending the lockout. As soon as the decision is made public, the owners plan to request a stay of the injunction, effectively re-starting the lockout. [ESPN]...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

David Foster Wallace Wrote A Book About You
When David Foster Wallace's novel Infinite Jest was published in 1996, the publicity-shy author was catapulted into the literary spotlight and heralded as the heir to Thomas Pynchon. The thousand-plus page novel—whose plot is vastly sprawling and fantastic but essentially revolves around a lethally ...

This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....

Geriatric Clemson Football Fans Have Finally Gone Too Far
Here are some guys who still talk about recovering that fumble in the end zone during the homecoming game 40 years ago. Give it up, though, for Clemson coach Dabo Swinney, who runs this fantasy football camp and is either a very committed actor or someone who has memorized enough stock pre-game sp...

Here Are Both Of Last Night's 2OT Cockpunches
Playoff hockey overtime might be the single greatest thing in the sports world — assuming your team isn't involved. Then it's a war of nail-biting, heart-stopping attrition, destined to end in glory and highlight compilations for one side, and wondering why you even bothered staying up late for th...

Let's Help Sarah H. Win $10K
When Sarah H. sent this video, she posed the question: "Can you spot the Ukulele?" Then, she readily admitted her "Another Hitachi Day" cover artistry is nothing but an attention grab. If she gets the most hits of all the entries in some sort of contest, she'll win $10,000 from whatever Hitachiday...

Ray Lewis Went To A Small North Carolina College To Talk About Spirits, Thunder, Cards And Whatnot
Tipster Jon R. reports that Ray Lewis "made an impromptu visit to Elon University for their spring football game last week and gave a very powerful speech. ... The game was actually postponed due to thunderstorms." Story moral: God hates people who listen to Ray Lewis giving very powerful speeches...

What Does The Splinter Group Of Players Mean For The Lockout?
A group about 70 less rich, less famous NFL players are about to hire their own law firm to get them a seat at the bargaining table. What does this mean? Like everything else in tightlipped lockout land, who the fuck knows? But here's our best interpretation....

How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...