bo Page 809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Calzaghe's Wagging Tongue Rats Out His Nose For Cocaine
Thanks to a very News-Of-The-Worldy hidden camera "investigation," we learn that the former champ knows an impressive amount about coke. Apparently, in Wales, most of it is "fucking shit." Chalk this up as a life lesson. [News of the World]...

AHL Coach Hulks Out On Referee
This is the Abbotsford Heat's Jim Playfair, concerned with a lack of fair play. The casualties: two sticks, and perhaps a pair of jacket buttons....

Hulking Man-Mountain And Pixie Companion Pretend To Be Dead Dolphins
Yup, that's Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere protesting a Japanese fishing village's annual dolphin hunt. It could be effective, as it probably reminds the locals of this. [AP]...

Taxpayers Fail To Unsoil Bowden's Legacy
The legal costs for FSU's fruitless fight to overturn those 12 forfeited games? $102,000 in tax dollars, and $70,000 from the boosters' fund. [Florida Times-Union]...

High School Players' Late Father Honored — For All Of Three Months
Due to budget cuts, a Baltimore Catholic school is closing down the court that in December was renamed in memory of the father of two sophomore players. Better than selling the naming rights, I suppose. [Baltimore Sun]...

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Patriots Are Capable Of Anything
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: What does Bill Belichick know that we don't?...

Searching For...The Player Who Told Tim Tebow To STFU
One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in....

Video: Urban Meyer Threatens Reporter Over Tebow Quotes
The Gator coach had words — and almost more — with an Orlando Sentinel reporter over what he thought was unfair treatment of Tim Tebow. For a man with stress-related health problems, this was not a good moment for Meyer....

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

Dwight Gooden Charged With DWI (Update)
According to the Franklin Lakes, N.J., police, the oft-arrested former Met/Yankee (oh, and Indian/Astro/Devil Ray, too) was pinched early Tuesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence. The tip we received and press release are below....

After Attempted Combine Prayer, Tebow Told To "Shut The Fuck Up"
Tebow reportedly requested the room bow their heads in prayer before the Wonderlic. Another player reportedly told him to "shut the fuck up." The nation reportedly offers a brofist. [PFT]...

Gators WR Excited For Passes Aimed Above His Knees
Deonte Thompson is not too sad about transitioning from Tim Tebow to John Brantley: "You know what I mean, a real quarterback." But how is Brantley's relationship with Jesus? [Orlando Sentinel]...

Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...

Set The Lower Midwest Aflame: Your 3:00 Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee. If you're flying over these states today, the bonfires will light your way to whatever godless coastal sinhole you've sold your soul to live in. Butler-Murray State; Ohio-Tennessee. Get some....

Cattle Rustlers Wearing Flashy Coats: Georgia Tech-Oklahoma State Open Thread
Oklahoma State has a 1-2 punch in James Anderson and Obi Muonelo, but the team's undersized. Georgia Tech's Derrick Favors and Gani Lawal are said to be "bruisers." They should get that checked out by a doctor....

Canonized Tuscans Want To Play A Jesus Lizard Single: Siena-Purdue Open Thread
Four players averaging double figures, a coach named Fran, and they beat Ohio State last year — Siena's good. Purdue's missing Robbie Hummel, but Chris Kramer has the gumption to become a hated March Madness figure. Don't sleep on them....

Swarthy Wolves Seek To Swarm Yet Another Type Of Bear: Montana-New Mexico
There's a New Mexico? Montana's coach is named Wayne Tinkle. Will Rebecca Rushin make an appearance as a wheeling and dealing small town sheriff causing everyone to bemusedly say "That's so meta?" More short-lived-NBC-comedy-jokes wanted....

Wild Felines Chase After Hoyas: Ohio-Georgetown Open Thread
Can Greg Monroe take over the tournament and continue in the great GT center tradition? Which famous alumnus will get some camera time? Comment here when you're not refreshing Julia Allison's Twitter feed....