bo Page 826 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...

These Announcers Aren’t Drunk Enough. Jamboroo, Week 6
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...

Oprah To Host Tyson-Holyfield III
Mike Tyson is heading back to Oprah Winfrey's show on Friday and he's bringing his old dinner companion, Evander Holyfield. What could those two possibly have to talk about? [CBSNews]...

Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

New Mexico Coach Suspended For Punching Assistant
Head football coach Mike Locksley has been suspended eight days without pay for attacking a former assistant earlier this season. Sadly, this may actually help the Lobos' season since they are currently 0-6....

Mike Tyson Opens Up To Oprah
When it's time for a teary-eyed confession, it's time for Oprah! Mike Tyson sat down for the full-hour today to talk about his daughter, prison, biting Evander Holyfield, and what a tremendous bitch-on-wheels Robin Givens was. Don't forget the crying.......

Fire Up The Self-Pity Machine, IT’S BLACK SUNDAY!
And so it was that, come Monday morning, the denizens of New England awoke to a world covered in thick, black ash. A world that knew neither hope nor joy, but only self-involved douchiness....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...

Are These The Harassed Red Sox Sisters?
An alert reader sent us this YouTube video, apparently taken at Angel Stadium during Game 1, and featuring a brawl between Red Sox and Angels fans. Could this be the incident involving the aggrieved lady Red Sox fans?...

Tim Tebow Lives!
His headache is gone so the big guy will likely play tonight against LSU. Will he start or arrive by parachute in the fourth quarter for added chills? [Times-Union]...

Pretty Girls Made To Feel Uncomfortable At A Baseball Game
What kind of a world do we live in where two attractive young women can't go to a baseball game without getting heckled by opposing fans? Sure, one of their ugly boyfriends was tasered....but what about their feelings?...

The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight
Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that....

The Most Hopeless Franchise In Football. Jamboroo, Week 5
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hawkeye Goes From Fan To Fanatic To Psychotic
At first this reads like the further pussification of sports, where a fan gets arrested for heckling a player. But it quickly takes a turn into Annie Wilkes territory....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Tony Romo: Not A Complete Idiot
As someone who has his competence challenged on a regular basis, I sympathize with Tony Romo. Luckily, unlike Romo, I've been spared the indignity of having to issue a press release to confirm that I know how to count....