bo Page 889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......

Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...

Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...

Boston Bruins First To Adopt Five-Blade Technology
Want a close, comfortable shave while enjoying your next NHL game? First, apply a liberal amount of transmission fluid. Then make sure that your Zamboni includes the Gillette Fusion Power razor, with advanced blade technology and featuring precision trimmer for those tricky spots, like around the en...

Somewhere, A Haitian Boy Is Hatless
Here's a photo from a reader who found this rare, 19-0* New England Patriots Super Bowl hat at a 99-cent store in Brooklyn....

About Last Night
What you missed while stocking up on healthy snacks ... • NBA: Cavaliers summon Iron Man after Celtics take 2-0 series lead. • NHL: Hot Wings to go ... Detroit wins series opener over Stars. • MLB: Don't try it, he's got the high ground ... O's 6-foot-9 Daniel Cabrera tames the Royals....

THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....

About Last Night
What you missed while shooting your father in the butt ... • NBA: Utah Jazz urged to quit race so that the Lakers can concentrate on John McCain. • MLB: Polanco vs. Papelbon = Tigers 10, Red Sox 9. • NFL: Patriots submit tapes to league, but there's an 18-minute gap....

Introducing The Booze Sandwich
So, young Americans, what's your preferred technique for sneaking booze into sporting events? In this day of increased security, one must expand one's horizons and think, as they say, outside the cardboard parallelogram. Witness these enterprising gentlemen and their successful attempt to booze up t...

Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...

About Last Night
What you missed while at a stop sign ... • NBA: LeBron makes two key baskets against Celtics. Unfortunately, he missed his other 16 shots. Boston 76, Cleveland 72. • MLB: Diamondbacks' Randy Johnson somehow gets all of his surgically enhanced body parts to work in unision to earn 6-4 win over Philli...

NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game....

Heidi Watney Makes It Through Her First Night Unscathed
Heidi Watney, much ballyhooed as the new NESN reporter of record for her, well, her Watney-ness, had her first on-air duties last night as the Red Sox talking lady of record. Red Sox bloggers all gave her passing grades for her first night's work....

GSTF Tour Returns ... In Milwaukee!
Well, in all the hullabaloo of the last week, we'd almost forgotten: We have a reading in Milwaukee this week! It had slipped past us, what with all the dumbing-down of America....

Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

At Least SOMEONE Can Take Off The Favre Jersey Without Making A Whole Stink About It
Remember that kid who wore his Brett Favre jersey for four straight years? Well, either because Favre has retired or puberty is just around the corner, the kid has finally taken it off....

Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...

Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have...

About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that Mongo just pawn in game of life ... • NBA: I can't deny it, and I just can't hide it. I think I have Hornets Fever. • MLB: Albert Pujols and Lou Brock ... pretty much the same guy. Cardinals 6, Rockies 5. • Hockey: How many times to I have to say it: Don't $#!% w...