bo Page 890 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Respect Thy NBA Champion, The Boston Celtics
It was only a year ago that the Boston Celtics were the de facto punch line for "bad team." Going 24-58 will do that. But now they're the definitive basketball champions of the continent. Paul Pierce should just retire now, because his basketball stock can't possibly rise....
NBA Finals Preview: Celtics-Lakers Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - mutant worms, baby poo, a lock of Fabio's back hair, a ninja's shin bone, and Britney Spears' first training bra - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA Finals game....
David Ortiz Is Keeping Unusual Company
David Ortiz is still recovering from his injury — he won't be back for a while, but at least the cast is off — so he's keeping busy the only way he knows how: By hanging out with the crazyman that is James Woods....
Hank Steinbrenner Is Just Boiling Over With Ideas
Pity the poor New York media. (A group in which, it occurs to us with a start, we are about to be considered a member.) They're so wistful for the old days of George Steinbrenner that they're desperately trying to shoehorn son Hank, the slow one, into the role. It's not working....
About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....
Michael Wilbon Thinks People Who Enjoy Pictures Of Him With Porn Stars Should "Get A Life"
Michael Wilbon chatted with Washington Post readers today, and he addressed those brilliant porn star pictures. The good humor he had on "PTI" about it? That's gone....
Is Boston Ready To Host A Championship Celebration?
As mentioned last week, the Leitch family is heading to Fenway Park this Saturday — tentative pitching matchup: Josh Beckett vs. Mitchell Boggs. You're toast, Sox! — and we are hopeful that the Yawkey Way faithful will show us the appropriate respect. That is to say: We hope they won't throw anythi...
Tim Russert Was A Grand Thespian
Acting! What's more fun than seeing Russert saying, "it's all about the Benjamins" while doing a fist bump? If you haven't seen Luke Russert's interview this morning with "Today," we recommend doing so immediately, but only when no one's around, lest your boss make fun of you for weeping. We still t...
The Finals Are Goin' Back To Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't decide whether he likes the fact that ginormous leads are not safe when these teams play. When he's not silently wondering what's going to happen in Game 6, he can be found staring into space with a contemplative look at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ... • It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?). • MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang j...
NBA Finals Game 5 Second Half Live Blog
Either Pau Gasol is fired up or is auditioning for the role of General Zod in the upcoming feature, Superman IX: Invasion Of the Cassell Clones. But despite a three-point lead for LA, it doesn't look good for them. Hell, even David Spade is pissed. Will the series end tonight? Or will I be tempted t...
NBA Finals Game 5 First Half Live Blog
Whoa, sensei. The NBA Finals Game 5 gets to follow that. Much like when Tiger Woods was on the ropes, so are the LA Lakers, down 3-1 in the series. Kobe Bryant says the series is far from over. Boston would like very much to finish this series right now. The referees were instructed by their superio...
About Last Night...
What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day... • U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round? • NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat...
Bob Knight Interrupts Speech To Give Job Recommendation
Cell phone etiquette: we've mostly nailed it down. Don't talk while driving. Don't text during class. Don't clean your ear with the antenna. Bob Knight probably treats cell phone like the 3-point line in basketball. He'll begrudgingly accept them into his world, but the minute he's appointed Mayor O...
Germans Haven't Quite Perfected The Bomb Scare
When I'm late for a plane, typically I do not need to stall the flight by some elaborate means. After all, the flight will find a way to be 2 hours late on its own! Ha-ah! [wacky Vaudevile jig] If only reporters late for their Euro 2008 assignment were so wise....
About Last Night
What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens... • U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby. • MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah a...
Mike Tyson's Rub Out
Mike Tyson is one of those rare breeds who, whatever kind of trouble they get into or bizarre allegation they have thrown at them, it's never surprising. (Ed. Note: Doesn't Simmons have a theory about this?) The latest one proves it; any other famous person on the planet accused of financing a hit...
Truly Epical Failurosity
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who almost feels sorry for the Lakers after last night's debacle. Okay, not really. When he's not dancing his little victory jig, he can be found thanking Sturla for the graphic at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ... • NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers. • Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers! • NHL: All your Lester B....
Are You Ready For Another Boston Championship?
In a game that will be remembered — not just in the Boston area — for a long, long time, the Celtics overcame a 24-point first-half Lakers lead through ridiculous shutdown defense and won Game 5 of the NBA Finals 97-91. They now have a 3-1 series lead. And Kobe Bryant is surely coming up with all k...