bo Page 904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Our Final Two Readings, NYC-Style
After the madness of the last month of our life, the first leg of the God Save The Fan tour ends over the next two nights in beautiful New York City, home of the bastard liberal media and hot dogs made of pig snout. It's Manhattan tonight, and Brooklyn tomorrow, and then we're gonna take a freaking ...
About Last Night
What you missed while listing all the stuff that white people like ... • NBA: New Kids On The Block ... who are those guys? Cleveland 109, Memphis 89. • College basketball: On Wisconsin ... Badgers relax atop Big Ten standings. • NFL: The Vikings can get into trouble on dry land too....
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering when SNL's Obama character is going to be funny... • Boxing: Klitschko made Ibragimov his jab eating bitch for 12 rounds. It could have been a bit more entertaining. • NBA: Apparently the Lakers are the best team in Los Angeles. Stupid Clippers. • CBB: Tennessee is th...
Klitschko Wins An Easy Decision Over Ibragimov
It wasn't an exciting fight and it certainly won't propel him into the big money, but Wladimir Klitschko won a unanimous decision over Sultan Ibragimov. I had the fight scored as a 12 round shutout, but the judges were a bit more kind to the Russian....
Wladimir's Morning Wood
Tonight Wladimir Klitschko will square off against his best opponent to date in Sultan Ibragimov in a big first step toward unifying the heavyweight title. Vitali's little brother is widely considered to be the best heavyweight on the planet and a win tonight at Madison Square Garden would cement th...
About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...
Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...
About Last Night
What you missed while reading the top 50 children's books of all time ... • College basketball: Volunteers vs. Tigers ... the state of Tennessee can no longer contain the hype, must outsource some to India. • NFL: The end of the Randy Moss Era in New England may be nigh. • NHL: News for the herring ...
The Last Stop Of The Tour's First Leg
Over the last month, we've been home for about 36 hours. We've hit Tempe, Los Angeles, Alameda, Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign, St. Peters, Mattoon, Boston and Philadelphia. Tonight, in the Georgetown area of Washington, D.C., we make our last stop before returning to New York for two readings next w...
There's Room In Baseball For Barry Bonds And Juan Gonzalez. Obviously.
So here's a question that we don't feel uncomfortable asking: In the wake of Roger Clemens becoming the official new poster boy for anal leakage, should someone be signing Barry Bonds?...
Tony Romo And Jessica Simpson Preparing For Wedded Bliss
Sure Jessica Simpson may have been a distraction to the Cowboys this past season; the only thing standing between the franchise and a Super Bowl championship (tries to suppress gales of laughter). So to ensure a healthy and successful 2008 season, Tony Romo should dump her, right? Well here's a solu...
ESPN Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
About Last Night
What you missed while drinking wine on the honor system ... • NBA: Baron Davis drinks your milkshake ... Warriors 119, Celtics 117. • Golf: Tiger Woods is a remorseless killing machine. • NFL: Colts give Dallas Clark 6-year contract; he drops it....
Welcome (Boo!) To (BOO!) Philadelphia (Booooooooo!)
Once again, we remind you of the next reading a mere half hour or so before it starts: We're hitting Daulerio country tonight, good ole Philadelphia. Philadelphia was the first East Coast city this Midwesterner had ever visited, and we've loved it since we were a kid. (We still get goose bumps when...
Attention Terrell Owens: Help Is On The Way
So a guy in Brazil, not content with the normal tattoo options in his area, has had octopus suction cups grafted onto his arms. Cool! My guess is that Belichick has already made this required surgery for all of his receivers; and Derek Jeter is looking into it as well. Whereas Ichiro Suzuki just lo...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Jim Bowden Uses Subtle Reminders Of His Authority
We're not sure what much more we can add to this photo of Nationals general manager Jim Bowden riding a Segway around the team's spring training....
About Last Night
What you missed while typing something you don't remember typing. Why, it was as if an occult hand had reached out and taken control of your keyboard ... • College basketball: Hoosiers circle the wagons, subdue Boilermakers. • Politicking: Obama win streak reaches 10; McCain cruises; Leitch a disapp...
Sweet Caroline ... DAH DAH DAH
We gleefully come to you live from Boston, Massachusetts, where, in about 45 minutes, we'll be making an appearance at that New England staple ... Barnes and Noble!...
NFL Promotions Have Come A Long Way
We can't thank Kissing Suzy Kolber enough for this old promotional video for the NFL, brought to us by Marlboro....