bo Page 946 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while observing the eternal battle of evil between Count Chocula and Frankenberry ... • NBA: Well, that was unfortunate. Doesn't look like this is going to be much of a series, eh? • MLB: Dare we call them the "surging" Cubs? Chicago 2, Atlanta 1. • Golf: Everything you've ever wante...

Where's Barry Manilow When You Really Need Him?
Attention all aspiring songwriters: Spain needs lyrics for its National Anthem. This is especially important considering the Summer Olympics are coming up, and Spanish athletes want to sing, sing, sing! Their fans are tired of sitting there mute during the medal ceremony as the Swiss are belting out...

Don't Give Up Hope On Barry Bonds Yet
As we wonder how the heck Barry Bonds can be out with shin splints when he never actually runs, we point out that, because of his injury and his recent slump, it is no longer an absolute certainty that he's going to break Hank Aaron's record....

Do Not Taunt Julian Tavarez
Of all the athletes you'd want to make fun of while he's holding a baseball, Julian Tavarez seems like a particularly dangerous choice....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while being decidedly more awake today than yesterday ... • NHL: Mighty Impressive ... Ducks bring Lord Stanley to California. • MLB: He's the Hoff ... Trevor Hoffman and the 500 saves. • College softball: Ladies ... Taryne Mowatt pitches Wildcats to title....

Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....

Protect Your Jewels, Macaulay!
Our childhood obsession with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is well documented, to be sure. But exactly how would we have been scarred if we had somehow stumbled onto this version? The mind reels....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while helping Jamison Stone stalk his next kill ... • MLB: It's almost as if Alex Rodriguez is telling the world %$#! You! Yankees 7, White Sox 3. • Tennis: An American No Longer In Paris ... Serena booed, ousted by Justine Henin. • Women's softball: College World Series, Arizona bea...

This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while looking for a phone booth ... • NHL: Duck Tales ... the Stanley Cup is one win from coming to California. Woooo! • MLB: It goes to 11 ... Mark Ellis hits for cycle as A's beat Red Sox in extra innings. • Motor Sports: Bang the Brake Drum Slowly ... Bill France Jr., RIP....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while holed up in the attic, waiting the apocalypse ... • MLB: Lou Piniella watches on TV as Cubs beat Braves, 10-1. • Motor Sports: We love it when chicks fight guys in the pit. • Golf: Thank you, Obi-Wan Nicklaus. K.J. Choi wins Memorial....

About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs. Cavs 98, Pistons 82. I don't think Rasheed Wallace is taking this well. • MLB. Padres 11, Nationals 3. Justin Germano refuses to lose. Ever. • NHL. Senators 5, Mighty Ducks 3. Candadian pride might yet be salvaged....

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Time Out
When you're 8 games below .500, the least you could do is try to be lovable. But the Cubs, 7.5 games out in the pathetic NL Central, can't even manage that....

About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 9, Red Sox 5. Good news: Game 1 of the series, and we've already had 5 beanballs and 2 ejections. • Arena Football. Desperados 59, Soul 56. Desperado has finally come to his senses, it appears. • WNBA. Liberty 70, Lynx 60. Minnesota's 0-6, and I'm sure you know this, but that's the th...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while frogging ... • MLB: Well, of course Bonds didn't hit a homer in the Giants' loss to the Mets. The clubhouse was too hot! • Tennis: Venus Williams bids France adieu. • NBA: LeBron, the number 48, and the Cavaliers up 3-2 on the Pistons....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while observing your sea monkeys ... • NHL: Senators, give in to the Dark Side you knobs. Ducks take 2-0 lead. • NBA: No team with baby-blue uniforms will ever win an NBA title ... not on our watch. Spurs oust Jazz, 109-84. • MLB: Randy Johnson — totally wearing 49ers colors these da...

It Tastes Like The Back Of A LA School Bus
Ever wonder what it would be like to see Manny Ramirez savor the aroma of fine wine? (Manny, that's not grape juice ... Manny ... Manny ....) Get yourself to Yawkey Way tomorrow to see three Red Sox show off their new wines. It will be nice to see Schilling use a spit cup for something other than ch...

Kobe Bryant, All About The DRAMA
We have a hard time firing ourselves up about front-office intrigue, mainly because it's usually just people posturing about money and "respect" and all kinds of silliness. But we have been enjoying this Kobe Bryant and the Lakers business, if just because it's not every day that a guy who was once ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while battling Gamera ... • NBA: Dan-iel Gi-b-son? Cavaliers even series with Pistons 2-all. • MLB: Balk this way ... give it up ladies and gentlemen for Giants reliever Armando Benitez! Mets 5. Giants 4. • Tennis: Roddick now free to sample all the exotic cheeses he wants....

Does Barry Really Owe The Hall Of Fame Anything?
Barry Bonds is heading to New York this week for the Giants' three-game series with the Mets, and because there are a ton of reporters here, expect Bonds to make some sort of headline in the next three days, whether he homers or not. (If we were Bonds, we'd avoid anybody with a combover for the next...