bo Page 963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time
Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from star...

Bobby Knight Unlocks Another Mystery
Bobby Knight sure has been chatty since breaking the all-time NCAA men's win mark. Here's his take on the whole Bill Parcells situation in Dallas. Parcells, a longtime friend of Knight's since their coaching days at Army, resigned earlier this week. The reason? It's all because of Terrell Owens, of ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while being punched in the face by your own attorney in court ... • NHL: Apparently they played this year's All-Star Game without goalies, and still Sidney Crosby couldn't score. • NBA: Shaq returns for Heat, but Pacers somehow didn't get the memo. • College basketball: Come on down ...

Kind Of Looks Like Steve McMichael On A Bender
One of the things we love about the Bears? They have a theme song. It's pretty awesome that a professional sports team has a team song. And it's particularly awesome when it is sung by Bryan Griffin, of the Chicago Lyric Opera....

Your Handy Super Bowl XXXXI Human Interest Guide: The Chicago Bears
The endless loop of Super Bowl XXXXI coverage is about to begin, and we like to consider ourselves the Mainstream Media's Little Helpers. We're about to all be deluged with a flood of human interest stories — we can use that metaphor because the Saints lost — so we thought we'd make it easier on all...

The Beginning Of A Fun Reality Show
So here's a fun social experiment: Five Chicago Bears season ticket holders end up with their number called for two Super Bowl tickets. But they all have an equal claim on the tickets. How do they figure it out? the Chicago Tribune's RedEye filmed the negotiations. We're disappointed there were not ...

Look At The Nice Tall Black Man
You know, it's a shame. The guy devotes his a large portion of his private life to helping other people, trying to make the world a better place, assisting his fellow man through the treacherous terrain of this planet. He is honored in the most public possible way on the world's grandest stage ... a...

About Last Night
What you missed while frantically calling out WHERE THE HELL IS CARL MONDAY? ... • NBA: Mavericks win eighth straight, Suns claim 14th ... remainder of league affixes white hankie to a curtain rod and comes out with hands up. • Tennis: Maria Sharapova advances to Australian Open semis with 7-6 (5), ...

Wait ... Isn't That ALREADY The Logo?
We've actually been to the Boca Juniors stadium in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and we can vouch: It's a scary place when games aren't going on. (It's the type of area that's charming on one side of the street and has naked children running down the other.) And, it appears, it's a terrible place to get ...

Tank Johnson Will Be Allowed To Violate O-Linemen's Probation
Well, the wheels of justice grind gloriously in the land of Chicago. Defensive lineman Tank Johnson — whose name is not Feelings Johnson for a reason — will be able to play in the Super Bowl. A Cook County judge just ruled less than an hour ago that Tank will be able to travel with the team to Miami...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting yourself orange and sitting in the student section ... • NBA: Iverson, Carmelo, together for the first time on the same stage! Nuggets 115, Grizzlies 98! • Tennis: Roddick advances toward inevitable showdown with Federer, as if we had to tell you. • College basketball:...

Parcells Says That'll Be Enough, Thank You
The Dallas Cowboys blog just reported the news: Bill Parcells has retired as coach of the Cowboys....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while baking cookies in obscene shapes ... • NFL: Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl, because we don't see enough of him on TV as it is. • NFL: Mini-Bears stave off all those New Orleans Super Bowl human interest stories, 39-14. • Golf: Hoffman wins Bob Hope Classic when other leaders ...

About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 91, Kings 74. It was Ron-Ron's first game back in the Palace since the incident. He played imaginary "catch" with some fans at courtside, which probably makes sense. To him. • Soccer: United States 3, Denmark 1. You can stuff that one in your gr nlangk l. • College Basketball: North C...

About Last Night...
• NBA: Pistons 104, Timberwolves 98, 2 OT. More on this one in a few. Chris Webber, if you're curious: 16 points, 7 boards, 4 assists. • College Basketball. Georgetown 74, Seton Hall 58. I didn't even know that Seton Hall still had a team. • NBA: Suns 106, Blazers 101. I say we just cancel the rest ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while suddenly looking suspicious for carrying a water bottle to the gym ... • NHL: Is she fast? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs. Bruins over Penguins, 5-4. • NBA: Mavericks beat Lakers for NBA halfway-point championship. • Tennis: Hey, Serena Williams!...

Bonds And The Giants Just Can't Quit Each Other
Yesterday, Barry Bonds did nobody any favors by endorsing Pete Rose and Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame, inspiring each of them to put their paws over their face like a goldendoodle puppy. But the bigger news might be that the Giants are considering voiding Bonds' contract after the news of his po...

Deadspin's Heading To Miami And Looking For Direction
As we've mentioned before, AJ Daulerio — whom we hear is the balls — will, for the second consecutive year, be covering the Super Bowl for us, and we couldn't be more excited. (We're not going ourselves; we don't handle sunlight well.) The guy's got an expense account, a laptop and a penchant for ge...

The Tony Romo Kama Sutra
In a disturbing and undeniably amusing listing of the top 50 new sexual positions, the Phat Phree comes up with a novel one: The Tony Romo....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while weeding out the riff-raff on your MySpace page ... • NBA: Chris Webber's Pistons debut spoiled by the offensive stylings of Utah's Mehmet Okur. • Tennis: Sharapova Forever ... top women's seed has no problem advancing in Aussie Open second round. Thank you, HDTV! • NHL: So all ...