bo Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barry Bonds: At The Movies!
In case you've forgotten, we here at Deadspin have made a solemn vow to get our Barry Bonds news exclusively from BarryBonds.com, just the way Barry would like it. (Because we're true fans. And we hate the white media. And we really want us to give us a "Shout Out" sometime.)...
The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....
Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while chasing ghosts with your three friends and a large Great Dane ... • MLB: A's win seventh straight, set stage for disappointing their fans once again in playoffs. • Roddick ousted in U.S. Open despite good looks. • WNBA Playoffs: Indiana Fever beat New York Liberty. Honestly, we...
Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...
Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Having Nightmares About That "Ranch Tooth" In The Wendy's Commercial ... · Yankees Secure Three-Way Wildcard Tie With Cleveland And Oakland. Somewhere, Woody Allen, Drew Carey and Hammer are in a furious battle. · Cardinals Knock Magic Number Down To 26. Tony LaRussa celebrates...
Clemens Survives ... For Now
Well, it's 5:30, and no announcement from Selig and company about steroids suspensions as has been widely rumored. We're keeping an eye out, but, of course, we'll just ask Michael Kay about it, if we have to....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
Costas Takes A Seat Against BTK (Wait, He's Standing? Oh.)
We've always found broadcaster Bob Costas to be an insufferable prig, as well as a guy who almost certainly pees sitting down. News came out last week that Costas turned down guest hosting "Larry King Live" because it was supposed to feature a segment on BTK killer Dennis Rader. Costas said he di...
The Day Of Rumor Reckoning
Well, today's the day. The Interweb has been all abuzz with rumors for days now that Roger Clemens/Johnny Damon/Gary Sheffield were about to be squashed under the steroid hammer of MLB. The Web was so a-twitter about everything that even the dinosaur print reporters noticed what was going on. (Dan...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Telling Your Friends Not To Tell You What You Missed On "Six Feet Under" ... · 49ers Lineman Dies. Still confusion about cause. Sean Penn investigating. · Cards' Rolen To Miss Rest Of Season. Manager Tony LaRussa consoles himself by playing with puppies. · Eli Manning's Elbow "...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...
Hey, Look: Mike Tyson In Trouble Again
Say it with us now: More trouble for Mike Tyson. The former heavyweight champ — it seems like so much has happened that we shouldn't even call him that anymore — has been accused of assaulting a woman in Italy who refused to have sex with him. The European press, which has pretty much been doing ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...