bo Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hammer Wants To Talk To Barry's Mom
With practically the entire world riding his unusually large posterior over Steroidgate, one often wonders what gives Barry Bonds the strength to go on? Well now we know: He has M.C. Hammer in his corner. And when you've got Hammer Time on your side, you can conquer the world. Previously known as ...
You Get Older, But The Steroids Stay The Same, Man
We're having a little trouble processing this information without the analytic professors of "ESPN Hollywood" there to guide us through the wilderness, but we're gonna try anyway....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while starting an hour late ... • MLB: I'm stuck on you, sweetie pie ... Bonds still at 713 as Cubs beat Giants 8-1. • NBA Playoffs: Oh right, we're bigger than them. Clippers finally get rough, even series with Suns after 122-97 win. • NHL Playoffs: It took three overtimes, but Oile...
The Frank Solich Conspiracy Theory
Remember when former Nebraska and current Ohio football coach Frank Solich was arrest for an apparent DUI back in November?...
Kids Bowl The Darndest Things
Kids. They leave their clothes everywhere, they're noisy as hell, and every time you take them bowling they show you up. It's embarrassing, really, when you're trying to impress that special lady with your skills on Lane 4, and over on Lane 6, some gnome is rolling a perfect game. Michael Tang of ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to guess the plot of The Simpsons movie ... • NHL: Red Wings beat Oilers 2-0 to clinch home-ice advantage, as Detroit is all of a sudden king of the professional sports world. • MLB: Mets beat Nationals 7-1 in boring, no-beanball affair. • Soccer: Donovan, Meola have rec...
The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...
About Last Night ...
What you missed during your rampaging crime spree ... • NBA: Anthony scores 28 as Nuggets clinch first division title since Chia Pets, Doogie Howser and Richard Marx were popular. • NHL: Ovechkin does it! Sixth rookie to score 100 points, as Caps beat Bruins 2-1. Hey wake up eh, I'm givin' hockey hi...
Revisiting All The Old Records
Either New Yorker and "The Tipping Point" author Malcolm Gladwell is just angry because Barry Bonds is the only human who might actually have a bigger head than he does, or he might actually be onto something. Gladwell, who says "Game Of Shadows" is "a death sentence for Bonds," suggests hiring a ...
Just Another Night At The Fleet Center TD Banknorth Garden
The thoughts of various individuals in this picture:...
Game 6, RBI Baseball Style
If you needed any more proof that the Web is the greatest thing humans have been handed since we realized the caveman who won’t shut up about his fantasy baseball team could be hit in the head with a rock, here it is. A guy at the site San Diego Serenade spent hours syncing up Vin Scully’s audio fro...
The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while realizing it's unlikely your fellow mobsters will keep your little leather secret quiet ... • Masters: Mickelson wins second green jacket in three years, but what's the deal with that mullet? • NHL: Hey kids, it's that other New Jersey winning streak — Devils beat Rangers for s...
About Last Night...
• Boxing: Floyd Mayweather Jr. wins unanimous decision over Zab Judah. Someone gets hit in the balls on America's Funniest Home Videos, and everyone laughs. It happens in a boxing match, and people flip out. Go figure....
About Last Night...
• MLB: Red Sox 14, Orioles 8. Daniel Cabrera's line for the Orioles: 1.1 IP, 3 hits, 7 runs, 7 walks, 1 strikeout, and an ERA higher than Kobe Bryant's points per game....
"Cut Me, Doc, Cut Me. Oh, Check, By The Way"
While everyone is focusing on the World Cup, another big event being hosted by Germany is tragically being ignored: The European Chessboxing Championships. The only board game which requires talcum and a cut man begins on April 21 in Cologne with two fights; the first between German middleweights ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed as your approval rating at home dipped below 35 percent ... • NBA: Nets, who may never lose again, win 14trh straight behind Kidd, Jefferson. • MLB: Now this is what we're talkin' about — threats, beanballs, Pedro Martinez wins first start ... it's what Mets vs. Nationals should be. ...
Anybody Actually Watching This Show (Other Than Us)?
Here's the thing about the ESPN "reality" series Bonds on Bonds; everyone seems to have an opinion on it, but practically no one has actually seen it. Even Barry himself missed the debut episode on Tuesday. We don't know what the ratings were, but they can't be good; ESPN went into damage control ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while tearfully writing your very last love letter to Katie Couric ... • MLB: Rollins hit streak to 38, but Phils lose to Cards 4-3. Come on, people! Where's the love for Rollins? • NBA: Knicks top Cavs to end nine-game losing streak, but Larry Brown still isn't buying any new proper...