bod Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Seriously, What The Hell Are The Minnesota Timberwolves Doing?
In Game 1 of the Rockets-Timberwolves series, the eighth-seeded Wolves lost in no small part because they inexplicably froze their two best players, Jimmy Butler and Karl-Anthony Towns, out of the offense. Game 2 was last night, and the Rockets won, 102-82. Here are some stats from that, courtesy of...
Report: Vile Pharma Dipshit Martin Shkreli Now Has Prison Muscles
When he was just a pasty nerd, out here defrauding investors and exponentially increasing the price of important drugs, I feel very certain that I could’ve taken Martin Shkreli. Now I am less sure, and let me tell you, it’s a sickening feeling:...
Bode Miller Is The Worst Sports Commentator Who Ever Lived
Here is my impression of Bode Miller, alpine skiing analyst for NBC’s Winter Olympics coverage, watching Neil Armstrong take humankind’s first step onto the surface of the Moon:...
Polish Skier Finishes Downhill Race On A Single Ski
Pawel Babicki finished 67th out of 67 competitors at a downhill race last week in Bormio, Italy. He trailed eventual winner Dominik Paris by 36 seconds, which is all the more impressive considering that Babicki lost his left ski before the halfway point of the famous Stelvio downhill run....
XFL Plans Get More Concrete As Vince McMahon Tries To Prove Himself Again
The improbable unto implausible XFL revival story somehow continued to take shape on Thursday. After a week of conspicuously zero coverage from his network, ESPN’s Darren Rovell published an article on the prospective league that included a few new details. The new information was broken into two pa...
Jeremy Kerley Says A Ghost May Have Tainted His Pee
Jets receiver Jeremy Kerley is back at practice after serving a four-game suspension for a positive PED test. At the time of his ban, Kerley said he was “shocked,” as he had never knowingly taken steroids....
Tom Thibodeau Is Destruction
In his stints as an associate head coach in Boston and head coach in Chicago, Tom Thibodeau made his name and his career with a set of genuinely smart and hugely influential defensive tactics, leveraging the NBA’s relaxed rules against zone defense to essentially eliminate what had been the dominant...
Presenting The Al Pacino Matrix
In a lot of ways, getting old is fine. Your body starts doing a bunch of crazy new gross things, first little by little and then all at once, which is especially fun if you’re a fan of Franz Kafka or David Cronenberg. Old habits downshift into dorkier but less damaging obsessions, and you discover t...
The Minnesota Timberwolves Are Up To Their Same Old Bullshit
The Minnesota Timberwolves are 7-5, and 4-1 at home, and 11th in the NBA in offense, with a pair of wins over the hot-shot Oklahoma City Thunder already on their résumé. That’s good! On the other hand they don’t seem, today, like a team that’s having a very good time, fresh off a loss to the Phoenix...
Are Costumed Hookups The Best Kind Of Hookups?
Whoops, now there’s body paint on the wall....
Triple H's Nutritionist Makes, Walks Back Candid Steroid Comments
That bodybuilder Dave Palumbo was a nutritionist for Paul “Triple H” Levesque—the wrestler-turned-WWE exec who only performs occasionally now—has never been a secret. They talk about their work together all the time, whether it’s Palumbo interviewing Triple H and his wife Stephanie McMahon, the two ...
Show Us Your Fantasy Football Team
The NFL season kicks off tonight, and with the return of real football comes the start of the fantasy football season. So show us what you’re working with....
Stick It To The Man, Andrew Wiggins
Earlier this week, Andrew Wiggins of the Minnesota Timberwolves filed paperwork to sever his relationship with agent Bill Duffy and BDA Sports. This is notable, in part, because Duffy had just wrapped up negotiations on a max extension for Wiggins to stay in Minnesota, reportedly a five-year, $148 m...
Rich Piana Lived As Big As He Was
Many people die as they live. There are the Reinhard Heydrichs who go out feeling the same pain they caused in their lives run through their urethras before the light flickers out, the King Fahds who sit in luxury as their hearts murmur then finally flatline, and the Michael Jacksons who perish in c...
Welcome To Meat Sack, A Guide To Sports-Related Body Horror
The ecosystem of the human body does not want for complexity, nor do the myriad of idiot things we inflict upon it. This is perhaps nowhere more apparent than in the world of sports, where athletes willingly submit their bodies, like monks to their vows, in pursuit of Larry having a nice, drunken ni...
Good News: This Avocado-Wielding Bodega Assailant Is Actually Not An Independent-League Baseball Player
If you enjoy news about avocados, daily life in the Bronx, or unorthodox objects used as weaponry—or any combination of the above—you’re likely familiar with the video clip below. It shows two men attacking a bodega worker by throwing avocados at him, breaking his jaw and leaving him with cuts acros...
Why Is Ashley Wagner Apologizing For Her Sport In <i>ESPN The Magazine</i>'s Body Issue?
I think figure skating has this stereotype as a sport for little girls—that we are these pretty porcelain dolls ......
Homer-Smacking Eric Thames Isn't Worried About Drug Tests Because He Has "A Lot Of Blood And Urine"
Home run hero Eric Thames spent last week abusing Reds pitching and mashing big taters, and he picked right back up where he left off this week, smacking three more cuadrangulares in the past two games. He now has eight home runs in six games against the Reds and 11 on the year....
New Orleans Player Chokes Teammate, Gets Benched
UNO lost by one (which I swear is not intended as a pun) in their NCAA Tournament play-in matchup against Mount St. Mary’s, and there were precisely two highlights, both involving New Orleans’s junior forward Travin Thibodeaux....
Tyronn Lue Can Do A Solid Tom Thibodeau Impersonation
Before the Cavs-Wolves game started tonight, Cavs coach Tyronn Lue graced us with his Tom Thibodeau impersonation. Fittingly, it was mostly grunts....