bod Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Super Bowl Does Not Want Your Erotic Fruits And Veggies
Our story so far: PETA produced a Super Bowl ad that featured scantily-clad women doing naughty things with vegetables. Somehow, Sean Salisbury and Whoopi Goldberg got involved. Then things got weird ......
Examining The Balance Of Power In The AL East
I've been in a meat coma since The Fourth, and have only just seen this great moment from Friday's Yankees-Red Sox game. A couple of questions here, of course: What if the ball had stayed perched atop the fence, instead of falling back onto the field of play as it did? And what's the ruling if, say,...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....
Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...
Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....
The Buzz Bissinger Affair, In Song (And I Feel Fine)
It's The End Of Sports News As We Know It [YouTube]...
About Last Night
What you missed after adding a little flourish to that job interview ... • MLB: So, that was four hours well spent. Yankees 15, Red Sox 9. • NHL: My Jarko Ruutu bobblehead is rocking out today ... Penguins sweep. • NFL: Los Angeles may finally get a new NFL stadium. Finding a team to play there is a...
Steve Lyons Would Like To See Your Breasts, Please
Here's an odd little story, featuring current Dodgers broadcaster Steve Lyons and a big-bosomed lady named Stacey Roy. From a court document filed on March 9, Stephen J. Lyons v. Fire Insurance, suggests that this is just a messy little money squabble between an ex-athlete and his homeowners insuran...
Mayweather Practically Unbeatable When Armed With Metal Furniture
Remember the good old days, when boxers waited until they were old and washed up before turning up on the professional wrestling circuit? Of course then you don't make $20 million just for showing up, as Floyd Mayweather did on Sunday at WrestleMania XXIV in a completely legitimate not-at-all script...
About Last Night
What you missed while in jail ... • NBA: Take your time coming back, Yao. Rockets win 19th straight. • College basketball: Gonzaga losing to San Diego in the WCC final? Inconceivable! • NFL: Titans raid Colts, take OG Jake Scott. Peyton stocks up on aspirin....
About Last Night ...
What you missed, not including the stop sign by the elementary school crosswalk... • NBA: People Who Mark Off Paths prevail in overtime' against Ridiculously Out Of Style Pants, 94-88. • NHL: Once upon a midnight Drury / Rangers scored goals in a hurry / Over many a quaint and curious five hole of M...
Colts Fans Have Absolutely No Cajones
Here's the situation: Four amounts left on the board on the game show Deal or No Deal (NFL Edition!). One is for $1 million, and the other three are for $10,000 or less. What amount does your case hold? George Barnes here can sell his case for $189,000 — but if he does, he'll lose out on the million...
The Grand Valley State Mascot Really Loves His Job
OK, I’ve checked the rulebook, and nowhere in there does it say that you can’t hump the goalpost after your team has achieved an important first down. This round goes to you, Grand Valley State mascot. But someday your reign of Div. II goal post-sexual assault will end. Mark my words. ...
About Last Night
What you missed while bidding a sad farewell to Mr. Whipple ... • College basketball: Please don't squeeze the Chaminade. • NFL: So, the Broncos and Chargers are both in first place? What? Denver 34, Tennessee 20. • The New York Rangers really, really hate Rick DiPietro....
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering why Anton Chigurh is so ornery... • CFB: Oklahoma was sent packing by that wacky "spread" offense of Texas Tech. • NBA: New Orleans is unstoppable. Plus the Wolves kinda suck. • CBB: UVA and Arizona squared off for the fourth straight year, the Cavaliers became the fi...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...
About Last Night
What you missed while flossing ... • MLB: God and John Denver do helicopter high-five, Rockies advance to World Series. • NFL: When the machines rise up and attempt to conquer mankind, Eli Manning shall lead us. Giants 31, Falcons 10. • NHL: We're relatively sure that the Ducks played on Monday, and...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 2
The early games are beginning to wrap up and to everyone's surprise things have gotten quite a bit more interesting out there. Miami has launched an admirable comeback on their former coach and fierce rivals from Chapel Hill and Michigan State is in a shootout with Northwestern, the baddest motherfu...