bod Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So That's What They Mean By "Exploded"
Last night E:60 aired its segment on body builder Gregg Valentino's ridiculous steroid abuse. It's an old story, but that didn't stop ESPN from airing Valentino's famous arm-burst again. Warning: After-jump footage is gross....

Andre Smith Needs Your Support, Both Emotionally And Areolically
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Lucky Teens Headed To Final Four On Mickey D's Dime
Here's a bit of pre-Final Four happiness. Remember Patrick Thibodeau, the Down Syndrome kid who played, and scored, for his high school basketball team? Well, he'll be at the Final Four and you won't....

It's Official: Baseball Is Worse Than Professional Wrestling
Well, that's if you listen to former Minnesota Governor and feather-boa'd wrestler, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who wondered why the Feds aren't going after Bud Selig like they did Vince McMahon....

Mitch Albom Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest
Yesterday afternoon, Detroit Free Press columnist Mitch Albom appeared on Scott Van Pelt's radio show to offer his insights on the rickety state of American journalism. Yes, pamphleteer fans: Mitch Albom hates blogs....

Patrick Thibodeau Finally Gets His Shot
If you don't appreciate the story of Patrick Thibodeau, the team manager for the Greely High (Cumberland Center, Maine) boys basketball squad, then your heart is old and wooden....

ESPN Employees Will Pitch In To Help
Last week we showed ESPN president George Bodenheimer's gloomy report about the state of the WWL, which detailed the many changes needed in order for the company to continue making jizzillions of dollars....

Buzz Bissinger: Foul-Mouthed Inspiration To Fertile Yale Minds
Surprisingly, he cursed a lot during his lecture: “I would never imagine him as the writer of the story I love." [Yale Daily News]...

The Super Bowl Does Not Want Your Erotic Fruits And Veggies
Our story so far: PETA produced a Super Bowl ad that featured scantily-clad women doing naughty things with vegetables. Somehow, Sean Salisbury and Whoopi Goldberg got involved. Then things got weird ......

Examining The Balance Of Power In The AL East
I've been in a meat coma since The Fourth, and have only just seen this great moment from Friday's Yankees-Red Sox game. A couple of questions here, of course: What if the ball had stayed perched atop the fence, instead of falling back onto the field of play as it did? And what's the ruling if, say,...

About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....

Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...

Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....

The Buzz Bissinger Affair, In Song (And I Feel Fine)
It's The End Of Sports News As We Know It [YouTube]...

About Last Night
What you missed after adding a little flourish to that job interview ... • MLB: So, that was four hours well spent. Yankees 15, Red Sox 9. • NHL: My Jarko Ruutu bobblehead is rocking out today ... Penguins sweep. • NFL: Los Angeles may finally get a new NFL stadium. Finding a team to play there is a...

Steve Lyons Would Like To See Your Breasts, Please
Here's an odd little story, featuring current Dodgers broadcaster Steve Lyons and a big-bosomed lady named Stacey Roy. From a court document filed on March 9, Stephen J. Lyons v. Fire Insurance, suggests that this is just a messy little money squabble between an ex-athlete and his homeowners insuran...

Mayweather Practically Unbeatable When Armed With Metal Furniture
Remember the good old days, when boxers waited until they were old and washed up before turning up on the professional wrestling circuit? Of course then you don't make $20 million just for showing up, as Floyd Mayweather did on Sunday at WrestleMania XXIV in a completely legitimate not-at-all script...

About Last Night
What you missed while in jail ... • NBA: Take your time coming back, Yao. Rockets win 19th straight. • College basketball: Gonzaga losing to San Diego in the WCC final? Inconceivable! • NFL: Titans raid Colts, take OG Jake Scott. Peyton stocks up on aspirin....

About Last Night ...
What you missed, not including the stop sign by the elementary school crosswalk... • NBA: People Who Mark Off Paths prevail in overtime' against Ridiculously Out Of Style Pants, 94-88. • NHL: Once upon a midnight Drury / Rangers scored goals in a hurry / Over many a quaint and curious five hole of M...

Colts Fans Have Absolutely No Cajones
Here's the situation: Four amounts left on the board on the game show Deal or No Deal (NFL Edition!). One is for $1 million, and the other three are for $10,000 or less. What amount does your case hold? George Barnes here can sell his case for $189,000 — but if he does, he'll lose out on the million...