brands Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Damn, Not Even A Mattress Company Will Endorse Ryan Lochte Now
Ryan Lochte has been dropped by four of his sponsors following his lie about a robbery in Rio that sparked a brief international incident implicating three of his teammates. ...
Man, Jared Goff Loves Brands
Jared Goff got picked first overall by the Los Angeles Rams, where he’ll have the exalted privilege of going 8-8 and handing it off to Todd Gurley a bunch. And he’ll be compensated handsomely for his services, now that he’s not a “student athlete” playing for the diarrheal California Golden Bears. A...
A "Vodka Diet Coke" Is Not A Cocktail
Earlier today, during an interview game of “73 Questions,” a faceless reporter from Vogue asked famous robot Taylor Swift what her favorite cocktail is. The Diet Coke brand ambassador said it’s a “vodka Diet Coke,” which is a drink that can indeed exist by way of mixing the ingredients found in its ...
IOC Lets Athletes And Sponsors Market During The Olympics, As Long As They Say Nothing About The Olympics
Brigham Young University professor of statistics Jared Ward finished third in February’s US Olympic Trials Marathon, filling the final spot on the Rio-bound marathon team. The married father of two is almost unknown outside the competitive running community, but has been successful enough in the las...
Volkswagen-Sponsored Wolfsburg Fine Nicklas Bendtner For Posting A Photo Of Himself With A Benz
Nicklas Bendtner has always been, let’s say, a vibrant character. A few years ago, he whipped his dick out and tried to hump a taxi, UEFA fined for wearing the wrong underwear, and he’s been arrested for trying to kick down a door in his own apartment building because he wanted to go swimming. Bendt...
Why Is The NFL Giving More Super Bowl Ad Time To Its Favorite Sham Domestic-Violence Group?
I took the No More pledge last year. What do I have to show for it? I’m now very aware of when #NOMOREexcuses Law & Order: Special Victims Unit marathons are about to air, but that’s about it. I don’t know much more about domestic violence or sexual assault. I haven’t discovered new organizations wo...
Sepp Blatter Calls Out Tough-Talking Brands For Being Phony
Freed from PR considerations following yesterday’s eight-year ban from soccer, a Nelly bandaid-rocking Sepp Blatter—who presumably sports it for the same reasons the rapper did, as an homage to his recently locked-up homies—has loosened his tongue a little bit. One of his targets is the brands and t...
Fuck Off, Kobe
The funniest thing about Kobe Bryant’s retirement “announcement” yesterday is that Kobe Bryant was clearly the last person to know that this would be Kobe Bryant’s final season. Honestly, I thought he had announced it already, given that he’s a broken-down old mummy who can no longer play basketball...
Now It’s Sepp Blatter Vs. The Brands, And We All Lose
Well now, isn’t this getting interesting!...
Carmelo Anthony May Be The Least Cool Person On Earth
Carmelo Anthony has made no secret of the fact that he cares deeply about his personal brand, greatly depleting his coolness levels. Now, he’s gone and launched himself into another level of lame-assness....
At The Sports Brand Awards, Brands Tell A Story About Telling Stories
When I walked into Cipriani on 42nd St.—a gorgeous Manhattan event space highlighted by stone archways, Greek columns, and ceilings higher than those of a Renaissance cathedral’s—on Wednesday night, I was greeted by a bank of MacBooks, each manned by a well-dressed young person, their faces glowing ...
The Brands Are Super Excited About Same-Sex Marriage, Guys
¡Ay chihuahua, mis amigos! In the (probable) words of Chipotle’s social-media manager, it is a beautiful día in the U.S.-gay, because the Supreme Court has ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide. And what is a civil rights victory but an occasion for your best friends, the brands, to pimp ...
Kevin Johnson Promotes His Brand By Releasing Personal Logo
Deadspin recently published a couple of stories alleging that Kevin Johnson’s actions show how eager he is to promote his brand. The latest one actually used the phrase “promote his brand” in the lede. We meant it figuratively. ...
76ers To Wells Fargo: Give Us Money, Or We Won't Use Your Dumb Name
In an interesting bit of corporate jiu jitsu, the Philadelphia 76ers will cease referring to their home arena as the “Wells Fargo Center”—its corporate-sponsored name—reports the Associated Press. Instead, the 76ers will refer to it as “The Center” or their “home arena,” seemingly in retaliation aft...
John Oliver Chugs Bud Light Lime To Celebrate Blatter's Resignation
When Last Week Tonight host John Oliver pledged last week to consume a variety of McDonald’s, Budweiser, and Adidas products if those brands made Sepp Blatter go away, nobody imagined he’d have to make good so quickly. But make good he did, last night—though not before describing Bud Light Lime as t...
Under Armour Is Trying Way Too Hard To Be Cool
Under Armour doesn’t just make ugly shoes, they also come up with dumb slogans too. ...
John Oliver To The Brands: "Please Make Sepp Blatter Go Away"
This week’s Last Week Tonight With John Oliver monologue is very funny. If you’ve been following the increasingly ridiculous FIFA scandal, you’ll delight in Oliver rolling out the greatest hits; if not, prepare to meet grotesques like the FIFA bigwig/government informer who rented an apartment in Tr...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...