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Ohio State just became even more insufferable
The Ohio State University, after a three-year legal battle, has officially registered a trademark for “THE.” Yeah, you wouldn’t think you could do that for t*e most common words in t*e English language, right? Marc Jacobs was also attempting to trademark “THE,” and t*e U.S. Patent and Trademark Offi...
IDIOT OF THE MONTH: Annex a history book, you dummies
Welcome to Deadspin’s IDIOT OF THE MONTH, our monthly series (hence the name!) in which we make fun of people in and around the sports world. And, boy, are the pastures green this month. But first: an honorable mention!...
Kawhi Leonard Sues Nike, Says They Stole Control Of His Original Logo Design
Kawhi Leonard has sued Nike, the apparel company with whom he recently ended an endorsement contract, over control of the “Klaw” logo used to identify his branded merchandise. Kawhi says he provided the logo to Nike, and that Nike’s claim to ownership of the logo is based upon an underhanded move to...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
<em></em>Clippers Empower Women Everywhere By Selling Ad Space To Dating App<em></em><em></em>
The Clippers have partnered with the dating app Bumble to create the latest advertisement to grace NBA jerseys. But lest you think this ad for the dating app known for requiring women to make the first move is, uh, just an ad for the dating app known for requiring women to make the first move—don’t ...
NFL Brands Support Italy While Trying To Support Mexico
To nobody’s surprise, the first response two NFL teams had to a devastating natural disaster was, “How can we use this tragedy to advance our brand?” For the Tennessee Titans and the Denver Broncos, after this week’s earthquake in Mexico City (donate here), that meant defacing the Mexican flag by sl...
Maria Sharapova Made An Hour-Long Commercial And It Sucked
Maria Sharapova’s management agency made a 55-minute, highly-produced, glorified advertisement that they’re calling a documentary about her 15-month suspension from tennis after failing a drug test at the 2016 Australian Open. The movie has all the trimmings of a documentary—tight shots of Sharapova...
Chip Brand's Automated Twitter Promotion Spirals Out Of Control
Fancy a crisp? How about a bag of Walkers, the Frito-Lay-owned brand that broadcasted videos of Gary Lineker holding framed portraits of serial killers and convicted pedophiles? Who’s hungry?...
How Many Nuggets Does Your Soul Cost?
If you’ve been on the internet this month, you’ve definitely been exposed to the most successful ad in the history of Twitter. Millions of people and countless media outlets have propagated the heartwarming story of a giant corporation buying a priceless amount of advertising for close to free. If ...
You Don't Have To Write This Shit If They're Not Paying You To
Over at Sports Illustrated, you can read an article about Tom Brady’s new line of sleepwear for A Company That Makes Stretchy Workout Stuff. The article contains the following lines:...
Damn, Not Even A Mattress Company Will Endorse Ryan Lochte Now
Ryan Lochte has been dropped by four of his sponsors following his lie about a robbery in Rio that sparked a brief international incident implicating three of his teammates. ...
IOC Lets Athletes And Sponsors Market During The Olympics, As Long As They Say Nothing About The Olympics
Brigham Young University professor of statistics Jared Ward finished third in February’s US Olympic Trials Marathon, filling the final spot on the Rio-bound marathon team. The married father of two is almost unknown outside the competitive running community, but has been successful enough in the las...
The Brands Are Super Excited About Same-Sex Marriage, Guys
¡Ay chihuahua, mis amigos! In the (probable) words of Chipotle’s social-media manager, it is a beautiful día in the U.S.-gay, because the Supreme Court has ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide. And what is a civil rights victory but an occasion for your best friends, the brands, to pimp ...
76ers To Wells Fargo: Give Us Money, Or We Won't Use Your Dumb Name
In an interesting bit of corporate jiu jitsu, the Philadelphia 76ers will cease referring to their home arena as the “Wells Fargo Center”—its corporate-sponsored name—reports the Associated Press. Instead, the 76ers will refer to it as “The Center” or their “home arena,” seemingly in retaliation aft...
John Oliver Chugs Bud Light Lime To Celebrate Blatter's Resignation
When Last Week Tonight host John Oliver pledged last week to consume a variety of McDonald’s, Budweiser, and Adidas products if those brands made Sepp Blatter go away, nobody imagined he’d have to make good so quickly. But make good he did, last night—though not before describing Bud Light Lime as t...
Under Armour Is Trying Way Too Hard To Be Cool
Under Armour doesn’t just make ugly shoes, they also come up with dumb slogans too. ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...