bs Page 168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Miracle For Easter Weekend: The Resurrection Of The Gus Johnson Soundboard
Fret not, weary reader. Be lulled to sleep by Jim Nantz no more. Gusgasm until you can Gusgasm no more. Rise and fire, friends. Rise and fire, forever. [Gus Johnson Sound Board]...

The Gus Johnson Soundboard Is No More
CBS sent a cease and desist letter to the operator of the Gus Johnson soundboard. He's asking for legal advice, so hopefully Deadspin LLC can help Gus rise and fire on this Good Friday. [Gus Johnson Soundboard]...

More About Pete Rose's Sex Life Than You Ever Knew You Wanted To Know
Rose and his Playboy-bound girlfriend did Howard Stern this morning. It wasn't pretty. They touched on Charlie Hustler's endowment, his stamina, and his semen-encrusted bedroom wall. Don't worry: if you don't click through, I won't be upset. [via SbB]...

"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...

Joshua Cribbs Gets His Wife The Worst Birthday Present Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lacrosse Players Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other; Crowd Rejoices
The Boston Blazers and the Philadelphia Wings had a little lacrosse brawl Saturday, doing to each other what everyone has wanted to do to a lacrosse player at some point. Kudos to the quick-thinking music coordinator (Mötley Crüe!). [The700Level.com]...

Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...

Chicago Cubs: This Is The Golden Age
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago Cubs....

Tiger Woods' Comeback Will Be Ratings Blockbuster, CBS Prez Says
"[T]hat is an indication that whatever he does has enormous interest. And whatever he does on the golf course for the first time since Thanksgiving will be of interest to almost every man and women in this country."[SI/Deitsch]...

Brazilian Indoor Soccer Player Dies In Just About The Most Horrific Fashion Imaginable
A 23-year old Brazilian indoor soccer player, Robson Rocha Costa, died Sunday after sustaining injuries in a match. A piece of floor plank pierced his thigh and went into his intestine....

At Least the Bears Signed Some People
An MRI confirms that Cubs 28 year-old right-hander Angel Guzman has a career threatening ligament tear in his right shoulder....

Is This What Happens When You Click CBS' March Madness On Demand Boss Button?
We all mocked NBC for the lonely spreadsheet that would come up if you clicked the "Boss Button." But has CBS taken a step back? According to ace tipster Qumar, yes:...

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Telestrator Dong: Horribly Insensitive Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....

Calm, Sober Man Explains Why He Fought Crazy Veteran On A City Bus
Even losing the world's most famous YouTube fight won't stop anyone from making the most of their 15 minutes. (And not in the way you'd expect.) Maybe Jerry Jones should host the rematch. [YouTube]...

Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....

A Delightful Video Of The Europa League Soccer Riot Where A Bilbao Fan Urinates On People
Number of places off the top of my head where I've seen rival fans get peed on: Vet Stadium and...hmm. Okay, that's it. [ESPN]...

Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...

Epic Beard Man Talks About "The Fight", And Many, Many Other Things
Here's an interview with Tom Slick himself, where he provides an expletive-laced background to the infamous bus battle, possibly confesses to numerous felonies, and speaks on several other topics that make you question whether he should be speaking on camera....