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Mocking The Cubs: America's Fun New Sport
Some may say that the rest of America is piling on the Chicago Cubs and their fans; making too much sport of their misery. But is not our gentle mocking really a welcome distraction from all of the really serious problems in the world? I say that the Cubs are actually keeping this country sane. Witn...

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served On The Front Lawn
This is how they settle disputes between rival baseball fans on the mean streets of Chicago, yo. A White Sox fan, who had been mocked all season by a Cubs fan, got ultimate revenge when the Cubs were rudely ousted from the playoffs by the Dodgers. The best part I believe is the fact that this prank ...

Uh Oh. This Can't Be Good
Unless a T-shirt surfaces linking John McCain with the Milwaukee Brewers, Barack Obama should consider his campaign in deep do-do. This is not meant to be ironic, by the way: Home Run Derby found this shirt back in August, when Cubs' and Obama fans alike shared the audacity of hope. Now there seems ...

'Shrine To Futility' Growing Outside Of Wrigley Field
As we chronicled this morning, Cubs fans passed through the anger phase of their playoff mourning ritual, and are now seemingly on to acceptance. A solemn 'Shrine of Futility' outside of Wrigley Field has been growing by the hour, as Cubs fans leave notes and artifacts lamenting their team's failure...

In Which Cubs Fans Look To The Heavens And Ask, WTF?
If God is a Cubs fan, as some people say, He has a really sick sense of humor. So many reasons to be optimistic this season; only to fail once again. Mere words cannot describe the 100 years of frustration suffered by the North Siders, although some of the following blog entries come close. Come wit...

Some People Still Don't Believe That "Fukudome" is Not A Dirty Word
Last week it was revealed that one Oklahoma woman was asked to remove her Kosuke Fukudome jersey during work hours because the F-U-K-U letters may be offensive to some. The Fuk-u problem is still rampant — even in Chicago, apparently — as a 15-year-old sophomore at Elgin High School named Jill Howe...

Cubs Fans Accept Latest Loss With Usual Grace And Aplomb
Well, blessing the dugout didn't seem to help, so the Cubs turned to a sleep doctor for Game 2. This is true. The doctor suggested that the Cubs spend the night in Chicago on Thursday instead of taking a late flight to Los Angeles for Game 3, so that the team could get its proper rest. Problem was, ...

NLDS Game 2: Dodgers-Cubs
If you're looking for a game that will be interesting for more than two innings, perhaps you've come to the right place. Carlos "Capital Zed" Zambrano and Chad "Nickname Withheld" Billingsley will pitch. Guys like Ryan Theriot and Casey Blake will be hitting and fielding. Nasally-sounding Hall of Fa...

Cubs Renounce Satan, Still Lose Game One
The Cubs have yet to get a handle on this curse business, no matter how hard they try. While a priest was furiously blessing their dugout (this is true) before their Game 1 NLDS showdown with the Dodgers on Wednesday, outside of Wrigley Field another drama was unfolding. A man by the name of Jim Sch...

NLDS Preview: Cubs Vs. Dodgers
From the very first day of Spring Training, the general consensus has been that This Is The Cubs' Year. (This has caused me considerable frightened quivering, pretty much from the get-go.) It's not just the 100 years thing either. It's difficult to argue that the Cubs haven't been the best team in ...

Strange Brew: Ryan Braun, Of All People, Keeps Milwaukee In The Chase
• Brewers 5, Pirates 1 (10 innings). Brew Crew Ball called it: This morning is the appropriate time for the untucking of shirts. Come on, untuck 'em! Wait ... is that, Brewers underwear? Oh Jesus. Well, tuck it back in, I guess. Ryan Braun was hitting .198 in September, with one home run and five RB...

Fukudome You, Oklahoma
Disturbing news from Oklahoma this morning, where once again our fundamental constitutional right to wear Kosuke Fukudome attire is being threatened by "the man." Rumors and Rants has the story, as apparently one of their readers was sent home from work on Casual Friday for wearing a Fukudome T-shir...

City Attempts To Curb Excessive Drunkenness Of Joyful Cubs Fans
That means you too, Cuban. Bracing for the inevitable rush on booze-ingestion during the Cubs' playoff run, the Windy City is bars to voluntarily cease all alcohol sales after the 7th-inning in Wrigleyville area bars during a "clinch game" to prevent any "ugly alcohol-related incidents" from ruining...

Wrigley Field Destroys A Man's Soul
I spent last weekend at Wrigley Field, watching the stupid Cubs clinch their stupid division and drink some stupid champagne in front of their stupid fans. It was the first time my father had ever been to Wrigley Field, and I have to think it'll be his last. Poor guy. He makes it nearly 60 years wi...

Getting To Know Alfonso Soriano's Alleged Road Beef
So, this seems like it could be a regular feature. Deadspin received a tip this weekend about pictures circulating on one Keri Wiesen's Facebook page (public to those in the Chicago network), which features this fleshy young lady in various friendly poses with the Chicago Cubs' (Central division cha...

Cubs Aren't Taking Any Chances, Curse-Wise
Perhaps recognizing that the tons of bad publicity the story had been generating just wasn't worth it, the Chicago Cubs relented on Saturday and let 104-year-old Leo Hildebrand throw out the ceremonial first pitch prior to their game with the Cardinals. Here is Leo throwing the hard cheese, although...

Brewers Bid Adieu To NL Central Race
This photo is from Tuesday, but it speaks volumes for today, as the Brewers lost to the Cubs, 7-6 in 12 innings, to finally, slowly slip underneath the surface of the cold waters of the National League Central and sink to their demise. I feel your pain, Milwaukee; I, too, thought this might be your ...

Cubs Chase Old Man Off Their Lawn
Awhile ago we told you the story of Leo Hildebrand, the 104-year-old Cubs fan whose one big wish was to throw out the first pitch for a game at Wrigley Field. Of course he'd probably need a relay man, and a diaper change to complete the task. But still, how could the Cubs deny the only person in Chi...

Cubs Leave The Mark Of The Z
What they're saying, blog-wise, about Carlos Zambrano's no-hitter vs. the Astros on Sunday ... • The Most Interesting Man In The World On Hits. No. With the city in ruins, their billionaire idiot owner was finally convinced to move the games somewhere else. But with that same hurricane dumping rain ...

Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...