bu Page 329 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Derrick Rose Has Fractured Orbital Bone, Will Need Surgery
So says the Bulls’ official website. There is no timetable for his return. ...
Female Ex-Coaches Accuse UMD Of Discrimination, Harassment, Anti-Canadian Sentiment In Lawsuit
Three former women’s coaches at the University of Minnesota Duluth sued the state’s university system in federal court today, all saying they were victims of discrimination while working for the university. In the lawsuit, each woman outlines her own story and the various ways in which she was haras...
Fresno State Scores Touchdown On Play We Don't Entirely Understand
What you see here is Fresno State’s Jamire Jordan scoring a touchdown to narrow San Jose State’s lead over the Bulldogs. But exactly what play this is, or what it is supposed to look like, we’re completely lost. Is it supposed to be a pass play? Did guys forget to block? Is it a completely broken an...
"I'm A Grown-Up Now": The Teen Who Accused Kevin Johnson Of Sexual Abuse Speaks Out
There is a photograph of a pile of pink and white paper hearts atop Mandi Koba’s Facebook page. She cut the hearts out of hard copies of a 1996 police report from Phoenix, Ariz. The cops, according to the vintage report used in the arts and crafts project, were investigating “a celebrity involved in...
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Rockies To Pirates: Thanks For Beating Our Asses, Here's Some Champagne
The Rockies got the shit kicked out of them by the Pittsburgh Pirates at home last night, because that’s what happens when a very bad team (the shit-ass Rockies) plays against a very good team (the cool Pirates). The win also happened to clinch the Pirates a playoff berth, a fact the Rockies were cu...
Players' Tribune Names Kevin Durant Kobe Bryant's Boss
Big news in sports journalism today. Biiiiiig news. Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant has accepted the position of Deputy Publisher at The Players’ Tribune, the outlet that cuts out media middlemen and lets pro athletes tell their agents’ brand messaging content directly to fans with no filter...
The Smart Steelers Are Going To Continue Going For Two
After each of their first two touchdowns in Sunday’s beatdown of the 49ers, the Pittsburgh Steelers went for two. They converted both times, and are now 3-3 on the season. According to Ben Roethlisberger, they’re going to keep on going for two. Via ESPN:...
Come On, Summer Is Obviously The Worst Season, Fight Me
Just what the fuck?...
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes
Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire....
Jesus Christ, Manuel Neuer, What Are You Doing?
Manuel Neuer had to be so tight standing there at midfield watching that shot, praying it wouldn’t sail into the empty net he had just ran a good 50 yards away from in a crazed and failed attempt to clear the ball. That it didn’t go in goes to show how astounding Florenzi’s wondergoal last week was....
Auburn Fan Tammy Goes Back On The Finebaum Show, Gets Mad As Hell
Auburn got stomped by LSU last weekend, which means it was time for notorious Auburn superfan Tammy to call into Paul Finebaum’s show and let off a little steam. ...
Marseille Fans Kind Of Upset With Former Player, Hang Him In Effigy
Mathieu Valbuena starred for French club Marseille for eight long, prosperous seasons before moving on to richer pastures last summer. He was their best player and the crowd favorite for many a year, and when he left for Dynamo Moscow the club retired his number. After one season in Russia, he’s bac...
Horny Bills Fans Continue To Have No Concept Of Shame
A reader sent along some photos from Sunday’s Patriots-Bills game, and we have to ask, why do Bills fans insist on utilizing their partners’ pants like dead Tauntauns?...
Bills Safety Aaron Williams Leaves In Ambulance After Injury (UPDATE)
In the third quarter of today’s game against the Patriots, Bills safety Aaron Williams suffered a serious-looking injury while attempting to tackle Julian Edelman near the end zone. Williams moved his legs and neck post-fall, then was immobilized, lifted onto a stretcher, and, after a ten minute del...
This Is The Billsiest Bills Fan
All Bills fans should strive to be as Billsy as this Bills fan. ...
God Help Us, Are The Steelers The Smartest Team In The NFL?
With 4:20 left in the first quarter of a scoreless game, Ben Roethlisberger hit Heath Miller for a touchdown on a quick turnaround route and immediately turned to his sideline and signaled to go for two. It’s the kind of left-brain peel-out the NFL has been looking for on two-point calls for years. ...
Kliff Kingsbury Clowns Bret Bielema After Texas Tech Beats Arkansas
It has not been a good year for Arkansas football and Bret Bielema. The Razorbacks came into the season ranked #18, but have since wilted. Bielema made fun of Ohio State for having an easy schedule, then his team went and lost to Toledo, the type of opponent he had just dismissed....
Aaron Burbridge Circus Catch So Good Officials Initially Called It Incomplete
Michigan State is having its way with Air Force today, and the Spartans’ Aaron Burbridge helped his team advance that lead with a phenomenal catch that needed video review to rightfully earn the six points. But, hey! The officials got it right eventually....