bu Page 330 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pittsburgh's HBK Line Is The NHL's Hottest
The verb that came to mind watching last night’s 4-2 Pittsburgh win was “overwhelms.” You can hold off the Penguins for a while, you can even shut down a scorer or an entire line for games at a time, but they’ve got so much talent, they’re so deep with scorers up and down their bench and offer barel...
James Harrison Wasn't Allowed To Film His Drug Test
Twelve weeks ago, Steelers linebacker James Harrison documented one of his random PED tests on Instagram. It wasn’t very incisive; he showed his followers where he pissed and who watched him to make sure he wasn’t using someone else’s pee. He was tested again this week, but this time around, he rece...
Mike Francesa Is Very Confused By Basically Everything Related To MLS
Here is a non-comprehensive list of the things Mike Francesa exhibits serious confusion about during what should’ve been a short promo advertising tickets to an NYCFC-NY Red Bulls game: that NYCFC and the Red Bulls are in fact two separate teams; the correct pronunciation of international superstar ...
Don't Leave Brent Burns Open
Back east we’ve got two fast, hard-hitting, well-rounded teams, that frankly play fairly similar games. Out west is a more intriguing clash of styles: The Blues are more defensive minded, more deliberate, more physical, while the Sharks thrive on offense, speed, puck movement, and the most exciting ...
Internet Man Flays Post-Human ESPN Shithead Darren Rovell By Tunelessly Singing His Dumb Tweets (UPDATE: There's More)
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week a...
Sidney Crosby Scores Right In Jeremy Roenick's Dumb Face
The corollary to not overreacting when Sidney Crosby goes eight games without scoring a goal is also not overreacting when he finally finds the net. But hot damn, did the Penguins need that goal. If only to shut Jeremy Roenick up....
Tampa-Area Tourism Bureau Apologizes For Accidentally Supporting The Pittsburgh Penguins
The Lightning took Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals on Friday, but Tampa Bay-area fans aren’t happy after a local visitors bureau issued rally towels to the Pittsburgh Penguins before the game....
Blue Jays Call Rangers "Gutless" And "Cowardly" After Excellent Brawl
I believe with my whole heart that the seventh inning of last year’s ALDS Game 5—the non-interference throw back to the pitcher, the baby-soaking beer rain, Elvis Andrus’s meltdown, and ohmygod that bat flip—is the most entertaining inning of baseball ever played. That seven months later it is still...
Richmond Beat Sydney Swans 101-100 On Kick After The Siren
One of Australian Rules Football’s many byzantine rules is that a player awarded a mark or a free kick as time expires may take a kick after the buzzer. Rarely, this kick can decide a game—but it did this morning as Richmond defeated Sydney Swans 101-100 thanks to Sam Lloyd’s perfect goal....
Large Bayern Munich Supporter Subdued Before Invading Live Shot
Fox Sports was live in Munich to cover Bayern’s celebration after this morning’s Bundesliga season wrap-up matches, and reporter Rhiannon Jones got a scare as a very large home supporter approached the camera—only to be scooted along by a security guard half his size. Good times, Bavaria....
Columbus Crew Trade Away Top Scorer Following Dumb Penalty-Kick Beef
Now, I don’t know much about MLS, but trading your top scorer coming off a season where he tied the league lead for most goals all because he got into an argument about who would take a penalty in what should’ve been a blow-out seems really, really weird to me. And yet these appear to be the facts o...
Report: Richard Pitino Overspent Private Jet Allowance With Permission Of Sexually Harassing Ex-AD
Remember Norwood Teague, the former University of Minnesota athletic director who resigned last fall after he sexually harassed a number of women? A recent university audit found that, apparently with his encouragement, the Gopher men’s and women’s basketball teams misspent hundreds of thousands of ...
How The Hell Did Jay Beagle Make That Game-Saving Block?
The Pittsburgh Penguins dispatched the Washington Capitals 4-3 in overtime tonight in Pittsburgh, weathering a furious third-period comeback and eventually winning on a Nick Bonino tap-in. However, it could have ended earlier in overtime, had Jay Beagle not morphed into Superman and dove across the ...
Report: UFC Owners On The Verge Of Selling For $4 Billion
According to a report from ESPN’s post-human business lad Darren Rovell, the owners of the UFC are in “advanced negotiations” with at least four potential buyers regarding the sale of the promotion. The UFC is owned by (mainly) the Fertitta brothers and (also) Dana White and the government of Abu Dh...
Raúl Mondesí Suspended 50 Games For PEDs
Top Kansas City Royals prospect Raúl Mondesí was suspended for 50 games Thursday, after testing positive for the performance enhancing drug clenbuterol. According to Mondesí, an over-the-counter flu medication he ingested in the Dominican Republic caused the positive:...
Beer To Rebrand As America Itself
When you go to pluck a Budweiser from a cooler anytime between May 23 and the November election, it will plainly read “America,” as if brewed from our very amber waves of grain. (Though their site informs us that they borrow some of Canada’s barley waves too.) This is great news for anyone looking t...
Coach Pulls Hammy Trying To Run Away From Celebratory Beer Shower
Leipzig manager Ralf Rangnick and his players were delighted by their win this weekend, which cemented their promotion to the Bundesliga next year. Rangnick was not, however, so excited about the prospect of getting a couple of huge glasses of beer dumped on him. In his efforts to elude them, he pul...
Aroldis Chapman Still Says He Did Nothing Wrong
Aroldis Chapman returns to the Yankees today after serving his 30-game domestic violence suspension, but the fireballing reliever has yet to take much responsibility for the incident that landed him on MLB’s banned list....
PSU Prez Slams "Unsubstantiated" Accusations From Alleged Sandusky Victims
Penn State president Eric Barron responded to revelations that Joe Paterno may have known about Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of children as early as 1971 and that as many as six of Paterno’s assistants personally witnessed Sandusky molesting children with an angry open letter declaring that the stories “s...