bu Page 381 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Georgia Grocery Store Terrorized By Giant Nightmare Bulldog
This picture comes to us from an Athens, Ga., resident who was just trying to get some grocery shopping done when he was confronted by this helldog in his local Kroger. ...
Report: Bucs WR Mike Williams Stabbed; Brother Is Suspect
Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Williams is in a Tampa hospital after he was stabbed in the thigh while in his gated-community home in Avila. Police suspect his brother was responsible. There has been no word on the extent of his injury or his condition....
Dickgoal Attempt Fails As Péguy Luyindula Ends Up With Nothing But Pain
You can use a lot of body parts to score a goal: your feet, your knees, your head, et cetera. You can also try using your dick, but it's not likely to turn out very well....
Columbus Crew Broadcast Features Soundtrack Of Woman Having Sex
Saturday's Columbus Crew vs. Philadelphia Union match broadcast on Time Warner Sports Channel featured a bonus, sexy interlude midway through the second half....
Evgeni Malkin Beats Tampa Bay Lightning
Evgeni Malkin scored or assisted on every goal for the Penguins today in a 4-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning. Malkin tied the game and gave Pittsburgh a one-goal lead with two goals in five minutes late in the third period. Nevertheless, the Lightning forced overtime with just over a minute left ...
This Is Not Buzz Williams
The Buzz Williams era at Virginia Tech got off to an inauspicious start when Virginia Tech welcomed the former Marquette coach by appending a picture of his former assistant—another cherubic bald man—to Williams's entry in the staff directory....
Hockey Fan Pounding On Glass Sent Flying From Check Into The Boards
This is from the Canadiens and Blue Jackets game in Montreal Thursday night. A fan, pounding on the glass, is absolutely hammered back into the seats when a Blue Jacket and Canadien collide in the exact same spot she was hitting. Amazing....
CBS Announcer Andrew Catalon Drops "Polack" On Gonzaga Player
Gonzaga's Przemek Karnowski is from Poland. Late in the Bulldogs' 8-9 matchup with Oklahoma State today, he got fouled several times. CBS announcer Andrew Catalon decided to dub the Cowboys' strategy "Hack-A-Polack."...
Good Night, Sweet Buttfumble
You were never actually as terrible as you were in the worst times, nor as great as in the good ones. You were a Jets quarterback through and through, but now you are gone. Farewell, Mark Sanchez. You will be...remembered....
The Red Wings Won On A Buzzer-Beater
Last-second winners aren't just for basketball. Daniel Alfredsson was credited with the goal with 0.4 seconds left in overtime against Pittsburgh, and Detroit nabbed a crucial two points in a pants-poopingly tight playoff race....
NMSU Forces Overtime With Long-Range Three After SDSU Turnover
A wild night of overtimes got longer after New Mexico State scored five points in the final 15 seconds to force overtime against San Diego State....
Texas Beats Arizona State With Cameron Ridley Buzzer-Beater
Texas big man Cameron Ridley was in the right place at the right time as he gathered in Jonathan Holmes's attempted buzzer-beater and laid in one of his own to down the Arizona State Sun Devils 87-85 and move the Longhorns into the round of 32....
Dayton Upsets OSU, Has Pizza-And-Dance Party In Locker Room
Dayton won the first game of the day moments ago, upsetting Ohio State 60-59. The Flyers celebrated the win the only way a thing can truly be celebrated: with pizza and dancing. ...
Dayton Defuses Aaron Craft's Heroics With Last-Second Glass
Vee Sanford's runner off the glass delivered the Dayton Flyers a 60-59 upset over Ohio State that looked like a win for the Buckeyes after Aaron Craft's acrobatic drive to the hoop seconds before....
Ben Roethlisberger Spawned Again
Tony Romo wasn't the only NFL quarterback to spawn this week. Steelers signal-caller Ben Roethlisberger and his wife Ashley had a girl named Baylee early Wednesday morning....
Michael Carter-Williams Travels, Remembers He's On The 76ers
The 76ers were down two possessions with 16 seconds left against the Bulls. Barring a huge screwup, Philadelphia wasn't pulling out the win. Regardless, Michael Carter-Williams still tried to score quickly, until he was called for traveling. After the turnover, his body language said fuck everything...
Inside The Bum Phillips Opera. (Yes, There Is A Bum Phillips Opera.)
"Places, Old Lady!" the stage manager shouts. "Places, Hippie Pig!"...
Five-Year-Old Mutton Bustin' Rider Eats It
Sorry, soccer. Mutton bustin', in which small children feebly hold onto sheep until they're thrown into the dirt, is the only sport worthy of being called "The Beautiful Game." ...