bu Page 397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Easter Bunny Ambushes Racing Presidents At Nationals Game
Let this be a warning to all American presidents, past, present, and future: You've got your own damn holiday, stay the hell out of the Easter Bunny's....

Down With Baseball's Fun Police
As much as I love baseball, no sport gets further up its own ass when it comes to players being allowed to look like they're having fun. Take the bench-clearing brawl in yesterday's Brewers-Pirates game, sparked by Carlos Gomez taking time to admire what he thought was a home run. Words were exchang...

Carlos Gomez's Triple Sparks Bench-Clearing Altercation
Pirates pitcher Gerrit Cole had some words for Brewers outfielder Carlos Gomez hit a triple off of him in today's game. Whatever Cole said, Gomez reacted, and it didn't take long before both benches cleared with players throwing punches....

Columbus Blue Jackets Win First Ever Playoff Game In Double Overtime
The Columbus Blue Jackets qualified for the playoffs for the first time in franchise history in the 2008-2009 season. They dropped four straight to the Detroit Red Wings, who eventually lost to the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals. Columbus did not make it back to the playoffs until thi...

Martín Maldonado Tears Cover Off Ball, Gets Infield Single
When you hear the phrase "he tore the cover off the ball," you think about a blistering line drive or a towering home run. In the sixth inning of Milwaukee's 5-3 win over the Pirates, Brewers backup catcher Martín Maldonado literally tore the cover off the ball and it never made it out of the infiel...

Nobody Has Ever Pimped A Home Run As Hard As This Guy Did
This was uploaded on YouTube a long time ago, but we've never seen it before, and we feel the need to share it with all of you....

<em>Empire Of Derp</em>: Your Heartbreaking Knicks Season In Review Montage
We'll remember so much about this NBA regular season, but most Knicks executives, players, and fans would like to forget it all. To prevent that from ever happening, we've prepared this montage of the Knicks' 2013-2014 season's most memorable moments....

Joakim Noah's Awkward Brilliance Now Available In Illustrated Gifs
Just in time for the playoffs, illustrator Chris Edser has put together a great series of gifs capturing the awkward magic of Joakim Noah, the gangliest of the NBA's elite talent. You couldn't ask for a better representation of player who does many things well and few things gracefully....

Atlanta Burned Again
Later on today, MLS will officially announce Atlanta as its latest expansion franchise. Massive City FFC, a Columbus Crew supporters group, did not wait to extend a friendly welcome, with the help of Ohio's native son, General William Tecumseh Sherman:...


Why Do Most College Football Kickers Suck? Chris Kluwe Explains.
So Drew asked me to fill in for him on this week's Funbag, because apparently as an unemployed former punter I'm supposed to have oodles of free time to do his job while he goes off and teaches his kids how to cook meth with his neighbor Chad, or whatever the fuck it is parenting entails in Yonkers....

The Pirates And Reds Hit All The Home Runs
The Bucs and Reds combined for 10 home runs in just six innings, before being suspended due to rain. Here are all 10 of them, hit to dwindling crowds, increasing rain, and—because it was Cincinnati's "Bark in the Park" promotion—presumably a growing stench of wet dog fur....

Don't Tell Joakim Noah It's Snowing Again
It snowed across much of the Midwest last night, including in Chicago, where reporters had to break the news to Joakim Noah just as he was enthusing over the delightful spring weather. We are all Joakim Noah....

Bubba Watson Went To Waffle House To Celebrate His Masters Win
Bubba Watson, everyone's favorite Southern chillbro golfer, won his second Masters in three years yesterday, and he celebrated the achievement exactly as you would expect him to. After claiming his second green jacket, Watson and his crew made a late-night Waffle House run, because Waffle House is a...

Justin Johnson Fights The Much Larger John Scott, And Wins
I went to a couple of Manchester Monarchs games while Justin Johnson was on the AHL squad. He was proficient at pummeling dudes, racking up 11 points and 392 penalty minutes in 103 games with Manchester. The Islanders called him up from the Bridgeport Sound Tigers this season, presumably to do simil...


That Isn't George Bush, Sir
Jaguars safety Johnathan Cyprien, that is not George W. Bush. If you were cracking a joke, then it's pretty funny. But that's not actually George W. Bush, or his father, George H.W. Bush. It's just some different white guy with beady eyes....

Penguins Fan Says He Was Booted For Pierre McGuire Sign
Penguins superfan Cy Clark alleges he was kicked out of yesterday's game because of his sign of Pierre McGuire's noggin, with "REGIS" stamped on the forehead. (McGuire's real first name is Regis. Now you know!) Others say there's more to the story....

Fan Gives David West A Solid Slap On The Butt
Pacers forward David West has eight points at halftime in Thunder-Pacers. One fan showed her support in the form of a butt slap. We'll see if he lights it up in the second half, now....