bu Page 508 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

Prestigious Sportswriter Makes Prestigious Publication For His Kim Kardashian Tweet
I think we'll all remember today as the day the internet made the same three jokes 80,000 times. (As I write this, #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage and #kimkmarriagewasshorter are dueling for the top spot on Twitter's trending topics.) But it takes a certain kind of man to toss out the obvious obvious ...

Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Were Able To Tolerate Each Other For 72 Days
Serial athlete seducer Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from NBA free agent Kris Humphries today, ending a 72-day marriage and/or publicity stunt. We're as unmoved as you are, because everyone saw this coming even before they each stepped out without their wedding rings—but we are concerned for the ...

Tony La Russa Lives On, In Baby Horse Form
Fear not, denizens of Redbird Nation. Your pilot may have hung up the satin jacket for the greener pastures of the TV studio, but there will forever be a La Russa roaming the fields of St. Louis, pooping in the grass....

Evgeni Malkin And Sidney Crosby Are: Hairy Guy And Gladiator
Not sure if that's "pimp", or the more general "hirsute man from the 70s." But to echo the comments every Penguins fan, Geno probably should have gone as the Invisible Man: he already has the costume. Meanwhile, someone ask Crosby if he likes gladiator movies. [Twitter]...

What Counts In Soccer As A Fight Broke Out After The Red Bulls-Galaxy Match
The MLS playoffs are underway—you knew that, right?—and after the L.A. Galaxy's 1-0 victory over New York Red Bulls things got a bit testy. It wasn't brouhaha levels, mostly because the guy who appeared suffer the most pain (Red Bulls defender Rafael Márquez) wasn't actually touched, as far as any...

Possibly Drunk, Definitely Zubaz-Wearing Steelers Fan Is Very Excited About Being On NFL Network
Albert Breer's had some struggles in his first season as an NFL Network on-air correspondent, but he was blissfully unaware of the majesty appearing behind him in this standup from Heinz Field Sunday morning. Kudos to the Steelers fans for using an ambulance as their tailgate vehicle, as it probab...

For The Second Week In A Row, Wisconsin Lost On A Ridiculous Last-Second Pass
People across the country might be celebrating Halloween tonight, but for the Wisconsin Badgers it feels more like Groundhog Day. While it wasn't technically a Hail Mary (it was first down and there were 30 seconds left) the details don't much matter as Ohio State—after giving up the lead late the...

A Brief Word From Joe Buck About His Call Last Night
An email exchange very early this morning, regarding Joe Buck's "We will see you tomorrow night" call:...

A Brief Word About Joe Buck's "We Will See You Tomorrow Night" Call
I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was really fucking cool....

A Partial Defense Of Joe Buck And Tim McCarver
"Buck should commentate funerals." "Fire this emotionless prick." "Buck makes Jim Nantz sound like Gus Johnson." "Tired and lame." The criticism of Joe Buck from the Internet peanut gallery is harsh—and even our friends at The Classical used this very space to describe his announcing as "fistful-o...

Stuck At A Rainy Big East Football Game On A Wednesday? Pass The Time By Powerlifting Coeds
Your morning roundup for Oct. 27, the day we could swear she was trying to break in. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Spotted: Albert Pujols, Yesterday, At Best Buy, In A Sleeveless Shirt, Buying <em>Captain America</em> On DVD
An esteemed sports author noted earlier this year that Albert Pujols wouldn't make a very interesting profile subject. Think again, kids! The Cards' first-baseman-cum-best-hitter-alive is a strange, adorable creature....

Today In Well-Intentioned But Terribly Misguided Promotions
Depression is a serious problem, but tying the fight against it to a Wednesday night football game involving two teams from the Big East probably isn't the most ideal marketing strategy. [via @PantherLair]...

Come One, Come All To "Coon-O-Ween," The Halloween Party With Special Guest Aqib Talib (UPDATE)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers corner Aqib Talib seems to love getting in trouble, and even his Halloween plans reflect that....

Of Bad Mechanics And Torn Testicles; Or, Why I Love Adrian Beltre
The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical....

If You Have A Hard-On For Baseball-As-Talisman, The Bill Buckner Ball Is Up For Sale
As if I needed to tell you, today is the 25th anniversary of Darryl Strawberry's second inning, one-out walk against Roger Clemens in game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Oh, you didn't realize that? Maybe you're not that big of a baseball fan after all....

Brian Scalabrine Is His Team's Second-Leading Scorer In Italy
Brian Scalabrine is one of those NBA players that we all delight in calling a "role player," even if his role was never particularly valuable. In Boston, his role was to occasionally come in to fall on a loose ball and get praised for his hustle, but mostly it was to delight all of the white kids ...

All Of Sports Media Is Moving To Connecticut
Oh, Bertram, this is just wretched. The help tells me that something called "NBC Sports" is moving all of its talent, and its support staff, three hundred people, to Stamford. In our state, Bertram! Piercing Fairfield county! The horror! Think of the riffraff—Brian Engblom, Peter King, Darren Rovell...

Brandon Jennings Needs A Refresher In Oblate Spheroids And Lockout Logic
If there was one thing that my high school science teachers taught me, it was that I should immediately lose any delusions about ever becoming a doctor, or doing anything related to memorization or numbers or earth science ever—and I thank them for that. But I think somewhere along the way, I did le...