All Of Sports Media Is Moving To Connecticut

Oh, Bertram, this is just wretched. The help tells me that something called "NBC Sports" is moving all of its talent, and its support staff, three hundred people, to Stamford. In our state, Bertram! Piercing Fairfield county! The horror! Think of the riffraff—Brian Engblom, Peter King, Darren Rovell!—on our streets, Bertram! Dick doesn't run the empire any longer, you know. They can't be controlled. We must pack up this instant. Head upstate. Nay, not Farmington. Bristol, maybe?